Some days only Diana will do.

I forgot this one...

Imagination working in my favor

I want to break something, something glass perhaps... Hurl it against a wall-shatter it to pieces and walk away, like this is a common act. I'm thinking this will release the tension in my neck. The devil sitting on my right shoulder is a 5 year-old brat with ringlet pigtails. She wants to kick you in your shins when she doesn't get her way. I can picture her now... she's a stubborn/pouty lil bitch. I have to remind myself that I am a GAW (grown ass woman) and I can't just go kicking people or smashing one-of-a-kind hand blown vases, so I'll just visualize it. I am visually kicking you right now... Do you feel it?

I'm noticing a pattern.

If you were to make a personality analysis with the gifts above, what type of woman would you think i am? I'm guessing an independent, man-eating feminist with a tendency to hit the bottle, which I guess wouldn't be too far from the truth... Above are some gifts/stocking stuffers received at Christmas which have an underlying theme. If you can't decipher, here goes: 1) a "It's all about me, all year long" calendar pad–which I will actually be using, especially the section for listing "people who just don't get me today" (with a section for who and why). I think I can fill that up quite quickly. 2) a pair of "Well Behaved Woman Rarely Make History" wine glasses–so I can cheers to me walking to the beat of a different drum 3) "Who needs a man?" cocktail napkins with cocktail recipe–hmm... if I am rollin' solo (which I am), then I'd have to spice this recipe up a bit and add some brandy (gotta keep myself warm)! 4) another set of cocktail napkins stating, "Sure, I'd like a Hot Toddy... or Mikey, or Billy, or Johnny"– Well, I've had all of them and none were quite satisfactory. 5) A coaster that says, "It is better to have loved & lost than to live with that psycho for the rest of your life."–Well, ain't that the truth!

Officially defunked

...and just in the St. Nick of time. Although, I wish it would've happened sooner–cuz I have one night to get all Martha Stewart on my presents. Aiding in my awakening... a hilarious episode of The Office (Season 4, Ep. 9): Dinner Party. In this ep., Michael and Jan host a tense dinner party in their cramped condo, ending with a Dundie being thrown at Michael's mega 13" plasma and the cops being called. Also this commercial (because when you are in a funk–you don't change channels):

And also, me just opening my eyes and realizing how lucky I am at this moment.

my inner bear is craving meat, red meat.

My new Fetish! I recently received this awesome lil bear. Feeding and caring for him her will promote strength and inner power to perceive my present circumstances. Lil background: Fetishes have long been an important part of Indian culture. When a fetish maker prays over his created work, a mystical power is believed to be released which can assist man woman in finding a solution to his her present problems. It is essential that the owner of any given fetish care for their carving. It should be given proper admiration and regular feeding times. Fetishes are believed to feed on cornmeal. The better a fetish is treated, the better its overall performance. There are six cardinal guardian fetishes which are symbolic of the six directions. The first is a mountain lion which represents the North. The South belongs to the badger, the West to the bear, while the East goes to the wolf. Additionally, the mole guards the inner earth, while the eagle protects the heavenly regions. Cop your own.
Fetishes and Their Characteristics:
Badger: the ability to reach a desired goal
Bear: strength, inner power to perceive ones present circumstances
Beaver: progressive builder, one who promotes family unity
Buffalo: steadfast endurance to rise above one's weakness
Coyote: the ability to laugh at oneself, humor
Eagle: a soaring spirit that transcends personal problems, a connection to the Divine
Fox: camouflage, protection
Frog: for centuries able to petition the spirits to bring forth abundant rain
Horse: one of the only two fetishes that have innate healing powers
Mountain Lion: leadership, resourcefulness
Ram: used to procure an increase of herds
Raven: the bird's beak is scratched across an afflicted person's skull releasing its healing powers
Snake: a powerful fetish symbolizing life, death and rebirth
Turtle: a symbol of long, meaningful life
Wolf: teacher, path finder on the never ending journey for survival

slightly obsessed with black/white stripes

I love the back of this! But the front is kinda obscene... The front is obscene.
Saw this via Greedy Girl, purchase at Ouma Clothing.

to quote the great wu: can it be that it was all so simple then

I really racked up that year... mainly because I was still an only kid. Barbie stuff, Cabbage Patch Kids and Care Bears were high on my list. I actually never anticipated that "Dream House", but my parents definitely spoiled me back then (still do to an extent-see it's their fault). Those were the days when I could barely sleep and would wake at 5am to tug at my mother, just so she could say, "One more hour," until the next, "One more hour." Now I like to get super toasty Christmas Eve and sleep until they call me... High on my list this year: super soft white sheets and liquor.

Feelin' real Charlie Brown lately...

I think it began at that first wiff of cinnamon-scented pinecones prior to Thanksgiving. Funny how a scent can send a rush of anxiety through your system that curdles your blood. The holidays are not for singles or maybe I need to retrain my brain. Let's say for the past 10 years I've always been in a relationship during the holidays and maybe that sounds a lil pathetic, oh well. Couples are everywhere, snuggling and sucking face and it makes me want to lose my lunch, or sigh "Good Grief." Take last Sunday–I'm at the JoAnn's cutting counter getting tulle cut for tutu's. Next to me are two men in their late 30's with a ton of white wedding tulle, the cutter at the counter is asking the man in front of her how his business is doing with the economy and all. He replies, "We are doing well, people are still getting married and ACTUALLY I'm in love! It's really great, I've never felt this way," blah/blah/blah. REALLY! Since when are heterosexual men spontaneously announcing their love to strangers? At that minute I thought about asking for her scissors...

Last night while trying to print my christmas cards at the Kodak kiosk, I couldn't help but notice the pictures that someone left behind... a cutesy couple, obviously smitten with each other and from the looks of the photoshop job–an intended gift for one another. LOVELY! Actually is was pretty damn cute, but "Good Grief," must they slap me in the face with it?

For the record, I am not Charlie Brown. On average–I am 70% Lucy, 20% Snoopy, and 10% Charlie Brown. Just the scent of pine and cinnamon has the scales tipping. To reaffirm my true self, I took a series of "Which Peanuts Character Are You?" quizzes. I say a series, because I was unhappy with my results on the 1st and 2nd quiz, but 3 times is a charm :) Below are the quizzes and my results:
Which Peanuts Character Are You-Quiz #1
You are part Sally Brown. You may not be the most ambitious person, but life isn't supposed to be hard! You are relaxed and easy-going, but you can hold your ground when you want, too.
You are part Snoopy. You have a vivid imagination and lead a rich inner life. Everyone likes you, but some don't understand that you may just be of another species.
Which Peanuts Character Are You-Quiz #2
Woodstock. You’re an incredibly unique person who values originality and loyalty above all else. You’re always where the fun is and you never lack for friends. You also like to try new things.
Which Peanuts Character Are You-Quiz #3
Lucy Van Pelt works hard at being bossy, crabby and selfish. She is loud and yells a lot. Her smiles and motives are rarely pure. She's a know-it-all who dispenses advice whether you want it or not--and for Charlie Brown, there's a charge. She's a fussbudget, in the true sense of the word. She's a real grouch, with only one or two soft spots, and both of them may be Schroeder, who prefers Beethoven. As she sees it, hers is the only way. The absence of logic in her arguments holds a kind of shining lunacy. When it comes to compliments, Lucy only likes receiving them. If she's paying one--or even smiling--she's probably up to something devious. 
Ok, I'm not that much of a brat, I just appreciate her directness :)

For the eccentrics in your life

1: Cinder Block Necklace 2: Ninja vs. Pirates Checker Set 3: Beaver Skull with Gold Teeth 4: Terrier Shirt  5: Balsa Screenprint 6: Custom Illustrated Calling Cards 7: Brooklyn Tray 8: Replica Milk Bottles 9: Hanno the Gorilla 10: Forget Me Not Ring 11: Bacon/Choc.Chip Pancake Batter

Babe, I'm not your Babe.

I have been the lucky recipient of 2 straight nights of drunk texts/dials by 2 separate offenders. First off, it's way nicer to be on the receiving end because when I drunk text (usually don't dial)-it's usually not nice. There was a period there when my girlfriend and I would swap phones at midnight to avoid such embarrassment. Of course this scenario would only last about an hour till we were at each others throats demanding our phones back... I digress. Tuesday night a friend and I mean friend, sent several inappropriate messages around 1:30am, I blew them off and went back to bed. Now in the morning I could've ignored them and saved him some pride, but that's no fun. I thought, "RU freakin' nuts?," would be better. He responded that he had obviously too much to drink, etc... No harm, I was able to go back to sleep just fine, but last night was a different story. I received a call at 3am and usually I can shut the ringer off immediately, but since my power-button is jammed, I had to just let it ring-Ugh! I was pissed and couldn't go back to sleep. This morning I see that the selfish/lush left a damn message. Wonderful, this better be good. I listened to the 5 minute/seemingly coherent message on my morning commute. And it starts: "Hey babe..." Eeww, I cringe. "Babe", seems to be a growing epidemic, it's grossly overused. I think dudes think it's a quick way to seem endearing, when they know they haven't put in the work to earn that title. It's a douchebag move, which will later be listed in my post entitled, "You know your a douchebag if...(be on the lookout)" Anywho, not exactly sure how to respond to this one, especially since he sounded totally in his right mind–scary!

i need more color in my life.

I'd love to get my hands on these Marimekko fabrics. I tend to hibernate (like many) in the bitter cold, which leaves me a lil stir crazy and re-evaluating my interior.

Turkey Day Flavor

These soup shots turned out super yummy and everyone dug the spicy/sweet bacon, especially the kids who created the festive backdrop for our feast. I definitely recommend creating extra bacon!
Butternut Squash Soup "Shots" with Candied Bacon
Ingredients:
3 pounds (about 3 medium) butternut squash                 Candied Bacon
2 large leeks                                                                     1 pound sliced bacon
1 tablespoon olive oil                                                        1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon curry powder                                              1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
4 cups chicken broth or stock                                         1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger
3 tablespoons maple syrup
1 teaspoon salt, or to taste
Candied bacon, as garnish

1. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Cut squash in half lengthwise and place face down in a baking dish with edges. Pour about 1/2 inch of water into the pan. Bake 40 minutes or until fork tender. Let cool enough to handle.
2. While squash is baking, trim leeks, slit lengthwise and wash thoroughly to remove all grit. Chop roughly. (Save the top, tough green part for making stock, if you wish.) Heat olive oil in a soup kettle and add leeks. Sauté for a few minutes, tossing with a wooden spoon. Add curry powder and cook another minute.
3. Scoop out squash flesh. Add to the pot with the leeks and curry. Add chicken stock, ginger, maple syrup and salt. Cook at a simmer for about 30 minutes, to cook leeks and marry the flavors. Using an immersion blender, a blender or a food processor, working in batches if need be, puree the soup. (Except for the bacon, this can be made a day ahead and gently reheated.)
4. Serve with a half slice of bacon in each small cup. Makes 12 small servings with leftovers for the cook.

Candied Bacon 

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. While the oven heats, cook bacon in a heavy skillet over moderate heat. You'll need to do this in two batches to keep from crowding the bacon. Cook until lightly browned but not crisp. Transfer to paper towels to drain. While bacon is cooking, combine sugar, cayenne and black pepper.
2. Lay partially cooked bacon on a baking sheet lined with brown paper or parchment. Thoroughly coat bacon strips with sugar-pepper mixture. Bake for 5 more minutes, or until sugar is caramelized and bacon is crisp. Transfer to clean brown paper to cool. (Don't use paper towels - the candied bacon will stick to them.)
3. Break slices of bacon in half and serve half a slice in each "shot" or cup of soup. (This will hold for a few hours, but if you make it the day before, it will go limp.)

i love the smell of gasoline in the morning

The night started innocent enough... potluck dinner at a friends house on the east side (which means taking the tunnel). I picked up a sushi tray at the market, where the cashier informed me of this documentary that she watched about getting worms from raw fish (nice talk). The hosts were very excited about a new toy they got, which they assured me would be the new Catch Phrase . First off, I have been called the Mary Murphy of Catch Phrase and I don't get siked for karaoke, so I was doubtful. It was entertaining to sit back, watch and laugh, but eventually I had to give in–not necessarily because I wanted to try it so much, but because I was tired of them begging me to. It was pretty rough at first, but I started to get into it mainly for the competitive factor... you were actually scored on your pitch, accuracy, etc. That, and a bottle of wine sealed my excitement. Towards the end of the night I got a call from a friend who needed some info., an address to be exact. She and her girlfriend were on some crazy detective mission and I was more than happy to oblige. Well, I would have been if my phone didn't then just die! My voice was horse and I was beat, so I decided to drive home, then I could recharge my phone and give her the digits.

I'm currently driving around my sisters old banged-up car because mine came to an untimely death on 95North. Running around all day, I lost track of the gas tank, which was well below "E". Of course it chose to call it quits on the 395 overpass at 2am and when I have no cell life! Being the superwoman i am, I contemplated pushing it. I figured if i could just get past the incline, I could cruise it down the ramp. Luckily, I ditched that idea. I thought about trying to flag someone down... maybe a cop. But since I probably reeked of wine, I ditched that one too. So, I got out and walked. It was almost a mile off the highway, down the ramp, pass Camden Yards and into the hood where I reside. It was freezing, but I was so heated about the situation, I thought if anyone messed with me, I could probably just rip them apart with my bare hands. I did meet a new neighbor (Aiden) who was getting off of work in Fed Hill, who kept me some company part of the way. I got home plugged my phone in with the intention of giving my girlfriend the info. she needed, but it was taking so long to charge that I pulled the sofa up to the outlet and passed out. I woke up early this morning and began to panic. I half expected my car to be towed or hit. I began to call everyone i knew in the city to come help, but since no one gets up before noon around here-it was useless. I called a cab company and after going to 2 gas stations, had him drive me to the end of the ramp by the stadium. I walked my butt up the ramp and prayed that my car would still be there. THANK GOODNESS, it was! I put my gallon of gas in and was back in business. Now with all that rush of adrenaline, I have no idea what to do with the rest of my day.

My totally practical wishlist

I'm sure I'm a bit behind on the Polyvore bandwagon, but I'm currently hooked! It's an easy way to play fashion stylist and an easy way to give your mama Christmas ideas (with links!). Here is my practical wishlist... next my totally impractical one (which will obviously be way more fun)! BTW: I'm usually more colorful than this, but I don't trust anyone to buy me colors or patterns.

My Totally Practical Wishlist by Goya Girl featuring FOSSIL watches

la la land: the tidal wave

I walk into a 2story building at night that overlooks a busy street. The lower level of the building is a retail store carrying mostly fabric. I notice 2 girls that I know in line as I pass. One that I’m friends with and one who I used to be friends with. My friend comes up to me as I’m walking up the stairs and we exchange awkward small talk, she’s got the "I’m caught being a phony" look all over her face and I’m just like "uh, huh, whatever" (see petty girl shit, even in my dreams). She asks me what I’m doing there and I reply that I’m about to take a sewing workshop class. I say see ya later and continue to walk upstairs. I walk through the room pass the sewing machines to join the rest of the class waiting for the instructor. They are all on the balcony, which spans the width of the building and is pretty deep. There are 2 levels to the balcony, a lower ground level seating about 10 people and a swing above, that seats another 10. The swing is set up amusement style, there is a very wide/glittery/candy apple red/vinyl bar that sits in your lap. No wind-so it’s not swinging at the moment. I take a seat on the swing and listen to the conversations below. After a minute or two, I turn around to view the back of the room. Starting at the top of the steps, is a huge swell of water. Kinda like when Indiana Jones opens a hatch he shouldn’t have and has to run or swim for his life. Seeing this tidal wave of water headed our way, I scream to the others to brace for impact. I squeeze my eyes shut and wrap my arms around the abnormally wide/vinyl bar. I squeeze my eyes tighter and tighter as I hear the blood-curdling screams from the others who can’t hold on and are plunging to their death over the balcony. The waves of water keep coming and my arms are starting to slip. I dig my nails in and puncture the vinyl, I grab onto the stuffing and then onto the interior metal bar... Still refusing to open my eyes.

I wake up in a hospital in Delaware. Bruised and swollen, the doctors tell me that I am the only survivor. My sister picks me up and we drive back to the building. It’s early morning as I walk up the stairs to the 2nd level. The room is barren from everything being washed up and out, over the balcony. The light is blinding and almost all white. I’m in shock, quiet, and numb. I kneel down and put my ear to the ground. I’m listening for water... next time I’ll be better prepared.

Only 1 Regret...

Frankly, I’ve had difficulties putting it all into words. Prior to my trip, Barcelona and the things I would do or see were all I could talk about (especially on cloudy days). But on my return I couldn’t find the words to do it justice, so I really didn’t say much (besides that the American dollar is a total joke). I cringe saying Great & Amazing because they don’t even come close to summarizing Barcelona for me. For a while now the city has been my mini escape when shit was hitting the fan, providing zen moments when I’d much rather be throwing a shoe at someone (hypothetically speaking). So drooling over this city for months prior and then coming face to face with all its grandeur was an emotional experience for me. And, I’m not necessarily a sappy chic. I’d much rather see Freddy Krueger snap someone’s spine and use it as dental floss than, watch Sandra Bullock conveniently trip and fall in the crotch of Mr. Right. It was truly beautiful and I loved Gaudi prior, but have an unhealthy obsession now.

 Some randomness: wine for breakfast, lunch, or dinner • no flesh! (I wore a skirt and boots one day and was looked at like a 2cent hooker) • the 60’s and over male crowd are horny, but harmless (I think I was even flattered at one point) • no one is from Barcelona • they really don’t “party” till 2am • no dancing in bars (I was reprimanded for this) • they love NYC • they are proud of “us” for voting Obama into office • they smoke like chimneys and have no qualms about blowing it in your face (hence the need for me to run to the pharmacy for sinus meds) • my broken Spanish got me by everywhere (Yes!) • time stands still for futbol • a croissant and café con leche is a typical breakfast • the chics wear tights with everything even shorts and sandals • no condiments (really no need) • oh and the American dollar is poo poo

At the end of the week, when I had accomplished all my intended pursuits, my sister and I did a bit of bar hopping. Not that we didn’t split bottles of wine every night, but I refused to be hungover for Gaudi... I do have to preface this with also being a little hopped up on sinus (so sexy) meds I was able to score from the pharmacy (at least I think they were sinus meds). So, feeling no pain :) we stumbled upon a bar off La Rambla that happened to be an Argentinian hang out. At least this is what I gathered from the cute, scruffy Argentinian sitting next to me at the bar. I got to talkin’ to Juan Pablo who just happened to be in advertising (hello light bulb), of course I tried to “sell myself” and get a job eventually in our convo. Anyways, I had reached the point in the night where all I want to do is dance. But the look of horror in Juan Pablo’s face when I suggested dancing in the bar, kept my cheeks planted. Although, I did get up to make him show me his limp (not that one)... He had been explaining to me that he had a slipped disc from playing rugby and was on some meds himself, oh and dancing would be difficult. I called bullshit to this and walked across the bar to make him prove it. As he hobbled over to me, his Argentinian buddies watched and laughed (Ok, bonus for being a good sport). Eventually, and prob after enough of my whining, we relocated to a larger establishment where dancing was appropriate (and I swear it was behind a hidden door and a velvet curtain). Yeah! A dancefloor, I grabbed my crippled friend and dragged him on. Danced a bit and then came closing time... Juan Pablo and his gentlemen friends volunteered to walk my sis and I back to our hostal. On the walk back he asked me to spend the night at his place. Hmmm... Prior to leaving my mother had said, “Don’t leave your sister, no matter how cute he looks,” (really mom, not necessary!). Honestly, the wine and meds were making me feel tingly and all I wanted to do was pass out. So I replied, “I’ll go over your place, but I’m not having sex with you,” (What? Does he think American girls are easy?). He was seriously taken aback by my comment... “Why??? I’ll use a condom.” “No buddy, sorry, not gonna happen.” So I kissed Juan Pablo goodbye and passed out face first into “my bed”. In the morning, I began to recount the nights events with my sister. I told her about our conversation on the walk back to the hostal and how JP offered to make passionate love to me (no, not at all-very dry and to the point actually). So my lil sis, the ying to my yang, the one that makes me look like a damn rebel, says “You should of told him you couldn’t, cuz you’d break his back!” Ugh!!! Why didn’t I think of that? I pride myself on the one-liners and I totally slacked. Arg! So, that’s the only thing I would do differently on my (Amazing) and (Great) trip: is tell Juan Pablo, “I’d break your back.”

BTW: Currently accepting applications for a travel buddy for a Spring trip, cuz with nothing to look forward to-shoes might start flying.

Lovely Spines

Love the simple graphic patterns/colors of these classic book cover redesigns.
Designs by Coralie Bickford-Smith, Interview on Design Sponge on how the pattern relates to the text, Available on Amazon

Barcelona Baby!

Finally! I feel like I've been dreaming of this trip all year (just a couple months!). Although only a week, my agenda is jamm packed with some pretty AMAZING sites, sounds and tastes! I plan on documenting every minute and providing vivid stories and reviews on my return.

Creepy thoughts

I'm supposed to cook 2 impress tonight, but I have 1/2 a mind to make this :
Love the use of an onion as a bone!

Inspiration for Halloween costumes... Friday/Saturday???

My eggs are fresh-according to my gyn

To the left is an APOLOGY LOAF (banana bread with nuts) given to me by my co-worker today. I actually demanded this loaf–even demanded it be low in fat/high in flavor. I figured it was the least my co-worker could do after putting my womanhood in question. I work in a room with 2 other females who we'll nickname Mouth and May (since they may re-appear) and I sit in the middle. FYI: the lack of PCness in MY office could def rival that of The Office. Generally, no subject is off limits and thick skin is preferred. So on the morning in question, I was sitting quietly at my desk/catching up on emails/sipping coffee, when Mouth says to May (over my head): "Hey May, I got a tip for ya." Ok, some backstory: Mouth often gives "tips" and usually they revolve around software shortcuts from email updates she gets, which she announces to both May and I. On this morning, I quietly wondered why I had been left out of the "tip"... "So, May," she says, "when your thinkin' about enlisting your kids in sports–pick lacrosse or maybe even soccer because their practices are an hour long, compared to football which is two..." I really can't remember if there was more to this "tip", because upon realizing that this was a personal attack on my womanhood–my head started to slowly rotate in her direction (or maybe it did a 360 like the exorcist-not sure). After giving her the look of death, I say, "What is there no hope for me? Am I barren? Are my eggs no-good? Are my eggs ROTTEN?" Ha/Ha, we laughed about it, but I could not get over how I was left out of the motherhood conversation. Yes, I am single and May just got hitched, but she has no plans to bear children in the near future and even so–I do plan to be a mother someday! Who knows I could even beat May to the punch (doubtful, but still). I immediately demanded a low-fat baked good and later specified that I would like a low-fat banana bread with nuts. Today, was my payday. I guess since Mouth baked an APOLOGY LOAF, I have to lay off on the whole rotten eggs deal, but I may try and milk something else out of her or just make her feel uncomfortably foolish for a lil longer... why not.

new 2nd hand purses

Recently I've been scouring 2nd hand stores and Goodwill for pieces to use in my Halloween costume (Hells Angel Biker Chic). While searching for leather studded items and biker vests, I've come across some random other goodies. I picked up all these purses for minimal dough and I thought they would be perfect for my trip next week. Barcelona has a bad reputation for pickpocketing, so it's recommended that your purse stay across/in front of you at all times–these long straps will make that easy (minus the fringe one), not to mention leave my hands free for picture-taking or dancing. They are all good quality and all leather (minus the black one)–so score ;)

Online dating of the good variety

So, I went on a total blind date with a book club last night! Well... not totally blind (I have been following the blog of one of the members), but this was our first meeting and I had some major butterflies. I actually welcomed this feeling with open arms, since any recent dates have left me totally apathetic. These days, dates are lucky if I shower and apply lipgloss-but last night I sprayed the good perfume and even plucked a couple eyebrow hairs. I also stopped by my neighbor's house to have a warm-up drink and so they could make fun of what a dork I was. Being that I hadn’t read the book (only knew about it days prior), I showed up late to try and avoid the discussion that I couldn’t contribute to. I arrived to a boat full of sushi and bottles of white wine (already my kind of girls!). The conversation revolved around work, idiot boys, movies, past events/future events, boardgames, and yeah some book talk... It was a breathe of fresh air-a nice change of pace from oohing and aahing over kitchen utensils and the ins and outs of breast feeding. Initially I was afraid I would be put on the spot, ignored, judged, etc. But, none of that took place. It was pretty darn effortless and wonderful. I left giddy with the possibility of new friends, maybe it sounds silly-but it has always been hard as hell for me to meet women with similar interests and at similar points in life. BEST OF ALL-my new lady blogger friend didn’t make me wait! I received a confirmation text shortly after I arrived home-that feelings were mutual. No waiting games, no mixed signals-just honesty... Now that is something to ooh and ahh over!  

Oh this? it's custom.

I dig this trend! Making accessories and apparel "your own". I have a strong affinity for watches... leather, metal, chunky, feminine, old school, modern (I think I need one of each). At La Mer's site you can create your own eclectic vibe, mixing metal faceplates with different color leather bands and adding whatever charms your into. Below are some combinations I came up with, I like the idea of mixing the types of metals and I always gravitate towards gold. Great prices BTW (customized watches are approx. $118).

More customization at Ralph Lauren, specifically with their Rugby Collection. Here you can pick from polos, cardigans, rugbys, hats, etc. and add a variety of preppy themed patches, numeric patches or specific text. Some of this is silly because it's pretty simple to iron on or sew most of this stuff, but I do dig the opportunity to tag your name–you know, just in case your cardigan or rugby gets misplaced with your girlfriends or somesuch. And I really dig this rugby-esque dress, I picture it pairing nicely with some tights and leather boots. Rugby dress approx. $128.

Ray all day, everyday

Friday night I saw Ray LaMontagne at the Meyerhoff in Bmore, backed by the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra... phenomenal! The show far exceeded all my expectations. His voice was even sweeter and more deliciously raspy in person. I'd like to have at least one of his bastard children, is this too much to ask?! Here is a quickie review of the show by the Sun. The show's arranger and conductor was David Campbell (Beck's Daddy), picked out by my friend Sharkey.

lol highly irritates me, especially when coming from a male (2cutesy). lol is for people who can't read or write sarcasm. Although, I'm a huge offender of over-using smiley faces (so that people get my sarcasm), so I'm  just as bad. I need to stop that.

Gaudi vs. Nissan Cube

No competition of course... but do you think that Gaudi inspired this car creation? Maybe I've been looking at Gaudi too much lately... And, don't get me wrong–I think this vehicle is pretty ugg, but I will be getting up-close-and-personal with Gaudi's beautiful masterpieces (Casa Batlló and La Pedrera above) in about 20 days! Can't wait!!!

Women are silly.

So I awoke early Saturday morning to attend a Nordstrom’s Trend show with some of the sweet ladies in my family. They had gone to them in the past and recommended getting there at 6:30am to secure a seat up front. I said a “hells no” to this and volunteered to bring the Starbucks in exchange for rolling up right before start time (8am). I should’ve put some Bailey’s in my coffee to prepare me for the SCREAMING/clearly-not-in-their-right-mind women that I had to deal with for the next 2hours. Wow, I like fashion and beauty products just as much as any other woman, but apparently not enough to be spontaneously jumping from my seat with joy and hysteria. The premise of this is: the louder more over-the-top you got, the greater possibility of you scoring free shit (I mean products). Yeah, free stuff is nice, but frankly from what I could tell (and judging the cars in the parking lot) none of these woman were hurting for the nicer beauty products in life. The greatest cringe-worthy moment were the tweens doing their best to get the attention of the host... in hopes of what? A free Clarisonic (battery operated device used to reduce the appearance of your pores). Upon one of these tweens actually winning one of these ($200) contraptions (through raffle), the Clarisonic rep assures the audience that the device can be used from ages 8-80. Excuse me? I don’t think 8 year olds need to be worried about their pores! They have all their late-20’s and up to be doing that.

Irving Penn 1917-2009

Some info on his life .

Some online pic Do's and Dont's

DON'T
-No pics of you and your pimp ride. I don't care how pimp it is!
-No pics with babies, toddlers, etc. I don't care how cute they are-this is not a turn on.
-Have ALL your pics taken by yourself in your mirror. Makes me think you have no friends.
-No glamour shots if you are not a paid model or realtor. Vain.
-No flexing or semi-nude shots. Please leave something to the imagination, plus it makes me think you're overcompensating for other areas.
-No cats! Suspect.
-Forget to label yourself in group shots. I could be looking at your much cuter friend and be wasting time.
-Get so close I can count your nose hairs.
-No before&after shots. Why am I interested in the you that was 5, 10 years ago(thinner/more hair)?
-No blurry pics. Blurry pics imply you are only attractive from afar.
DO
-Have pics of yourself in exotic locations. Says your adventurous/cultured.
-Have pics in boats that are possibly yours. Girls like boats, well at least this one.
-Have pics with dogs. They are a bonus, unless they are girly dogs-in that case: Suspect
-Have pics with mom or family. Men with good family relationships are usually well-rounded.
-Have full-frontal face shots. So I know your not hiding a hairy mole.

Love those lines

Came across these lovely illustrations by Garance Doré...

She has recently collaborated with the Gap, find out more here .

I need a guy who hits repeat on his favorite song till he feels it in his bones.

Crafty bastard highlights

This weekend, I attended Crafty Bastards in Adams Morgan. The vendors at this arts & crafts festival can be primarily described as quirky and kitch, with a sizeable dash of dark humor. There was also an amazing Bboy competition, which mesmerized me for a large part of the day... especially the dude with a prosthetic leg who didn't skip a beat and continued to "battle" after removing his leg... truly inspiring. Below are some bastards that stood out:

Also, I can't leave out the cuddly soft penis' with sarcastic inscriptions:

Art links: Berkley Illustration, Brainstorm, Rar Rar Press, Tugboat Printshop, The Black Spot Books, and last but not least The Prick Cushion

Adios Melt-in-your-mouth sliders (tear/tear)

Hands down, my favorite appetizer in Baltimore is the Foie Gras & Kobe Beef Slider (with truffle aioli and red onion marmalade) at Salt. Unfortunately I was accosted with news that has made me rethink... Friday night as I'm walking to dinner in Federal Hill, I thought I was walking in the midst of a fight by the look of all the PoPo that were around, but it was in fact an anti-foie gras demonstration out in front of Corks (white linen restaurants). I would say it was a band of 10 or so crunchy-granola types with pictures of tortured ducks, picket signs and loud mouths. Apparently I've been totally oblivious to the practice of attaining foie gras, and even without doing much research, I knew this would end my love affair with Salt's Sliders ;(  Yeah, it sucks what they do to the ducks, but I think I'm more annoyed that I'll never get to taste my fave app again (at least with a clear conscience).

the fall lineup

I think I might be missing some purple...
All can be purchased at either: endless, piperlime or nine west

the straw that broke my back or made me cancel my eharmony account

I was not only matched with this gentleman, but after your matched you have the opportunity to review each others profiles... apparently after reviewing my profile he thought we had enough in common to contact me and attempt to open the lines of communication or maybe he was captivated by my smile... who knows.

The 5 things this potential suitor can't live without (typed word4word): 1. a good laugh & morning coffee 2. Passion/Phisical Contact 3. My pillow 4. My Cats 5. Toilet Paper-Think about it!

The not-so-highs and lows of eharmony

eHarmony might "ask you the questions that need to be asked," but they sure as hell don't listen. The majority of matches that were sent to me were nowhere near my "cup-of-tea". Let's break it down... 98% were a "hell-no", 1% were a "maybe if I'm REALLY bored" and 1% were "doable" ;)

The questionaire is pretty intense and I made sure to emphasis the qualities that I thought were important. Adventurous, open-minded, creative, family values, confidence, ability to use power tools, oh & Hotness. Ok, so maybe there were alot of men that i passed up that might of had most of those qualities, but i couldn't get over their not remote attractiveness. I'm not totally superficial, just a wee bit and it's much easier to dismiss a guy when I'm instantly judging on his sad/sad picture. Oh well.

The process of getting to know someone was kinda drawn out, which could be a plus or minus. If you choose to go through the "guided process"(which most people do), Step1: send a set of 5 multiple choice questions that you pick. Some examples: What is your theory on travel? How much alone-time do you need? What's your idea of romance? Step 2: send your "must-have's" and "can't stand's". These you pick from an extensive list and range from: must want a family, must be ambitious, must have a sense of humor or can't be obese, can't have addictions, can't be a bitch (more or less). Step 3: you choose 3 questions that the other person can write a short answer to. Example: What are you looking for in a partner? If you were a movie, what type of movie would you be? what would be the name of the movie? and who would play you? (I never got asked this question... but eventually I'd like to answer
this for myself ;)

So this process can take a couple of days or weeks, depending on your interest or schedule. You do have the ability to "fast track" and skip all this non-sense, but usually if a guy did this, I was hesitant and thought him a weirdo.

All-in-all eHarmony is a semi-decent option for someone really valuing their privacy, which was me at 1st. But obviously I have no problem throwing myself under the bus at the moment or shouting from the rooftops, "Yup, I'm an online dater!"

If you need a chuckle...

Many more awkward, forced family compositions here.

Declarations of Love

A Love Letter For You=Stephen Powers and the City of Philly Mural Program
I think Bmore could use some love!

Bring on Jacket Weather

This chill is making me nauseous... my only comfort is the fact that soon if not now (which is way too soon) I will be able to wear jackets... ooh lovely jackets!

One, 2, Three, 4... I declare Text War!

Ok, I'm not proud of this, but here is how it goes (or went):
My high hopes of meeting (let's call him Rico-because his name was equally as obnoxious) were quickly diminished upon 1st sight. Mainly because he looked nothing like the blurry pictures he had submitted for review (yes, blurry pics should've been my 1st clue) and carried himself with an undignified air of my-shit-don't-stink. This in combination with his friend resembling a slimier version of Craterface from Grease-made me want to run. We had a very short meeting that night because after the 2nd bar, he disappeared. I mean I was planning on slipping out with my GF, but damn he beat me to it. Anywayz, I was pretty irritated at the wasted effort on my part, so here it goes (or went):
MC: so you weren't what I expected you to be...
Rico: is that so... thats too bad for me I guess
MC: thanks of leaving jackass (several cocktails later)
Rico: your welcome... thanks for showing up late n being rude (lie... kinda)
MC: Yr mother!
Rico: lose my number psycho!
MC: proactive

make way

I would totally rock a version of all of these...
Artwork by arn0

Fifi Lapin and LeSportsac Unite

Super big fan of that fashion-conscious bunny know as Fifi Lapin. You can see her illustrations NOW on LeSportsac Sacs... My personal fave: the Compulsive Shopper tote with "Dress Up" print. 

http://www.lesportsac.com/store/air/fifi_lapin/8751_3901.html   

Fifi's Drawings and prints are for sale at: http://fifilapin.bigcartel.com/