Tumbling my way through the seasons.

Ok, that's total bullshit. I have mad crazy anxiety for cold nights, specifically quiet/frigid/blizzardy nights where I'm forced to entertain myself. I did it once ya know... last December. As I recall, it was the first time I took Xanax. Nearly climbed the wall, if not. I tried to learn from the 1st blizzard of '09, but the blizzards of '10 just brought more disaster (5.2 miles in fresh snow, trapped with new prospect that I just realize-I can't stand). All of it brings chillz to my toasty ass. I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN! Although, with the current state of my indecisiveness–I am destined to shovel my own shit again!

Listen. I am woman hear me roar, blah/blah/blah. I can accomplish damn near anything on my own. Look at me here, but frankly I'm over it. I've proven to myself that I am self-sufficient and I'm done. Now I'd like to share the shit. Spread it out. Go halfsies. Life is more pleasant if you share, no? Share the shit/share the wealth.

Good Vibrations

Yesterday morning before the clock hit 10am, I was hit with a tag team (pun intended) of the first 2 seconds of the Beach Boys' Good Vibrations. My 2 dude co-workers decided to play DJ and loop/mix the "IIiiiiaahhhhhh" over and over and over again. It was pretty freakin' hilarious, that is–if you're a fan of low brow humor as I am. Go head, give it a whirl.

My alter ego 'tude for Tuesday

Survival of the fittest...

Virgin Festival 2010

Photobucket
Ahh... to be caught in a Matt & Kim sandwich... one can only wish. 
Perhaps I'll proposition them at Rams Head on October 23!
Photobucket
Lil Miss Sunshine!
PhotobucketAnd her Lil Miss'Photobucket
I guess it's only fair since I do it to everyone else...
Photobucket
Sour & Sweet.
Photobucket
M.I.A whoop, whoop!
Photobucket
till next year....

HC Photobooth Highlights

Last Thursday, I attended a premiere of Moth at the Landmark Theatre. Moth is a short film directed by my dear, uber-talented friend Ultramatik aka Hilton Carter. Flying Dog beer was a sponsor and generously set up shop in the theater handing out free beer. As the audience awaited the film, we listened to music provided by DJ Impulse and viewed shots from the photobooth on the big screen-just recently taken.

I love photobooths! So much fun to be had. Here are a couple highlights:
More on HC's talent here.

Weekend in Texts (10.1-10.3)

Text Messages INCOMING
-Can u watch con till 8?
-Just going to grab his old carseat
-Is connor ok
-My basement flooded yesterday
-This is a fucking nightmare. Everything is soaked
-Yes very much. I'm up to about 18 gallons of water I've taken out
-Hi beautiful. How's 8 looking for you? Need a few more minutes?
-No prob. I'll come by to help you raise Arizona at 8:20.
-Fells festival tomorrow?9
-Hey have you talked to steve
-Honey we spent the night at hopkins he fell down the stairs
-He is fine, got staples but can not drink at all
-Didn't make the wedding, bit maybe I'll come meet you...what time you kicking off?
-Drunk and just got home... don't think I'm gonna make it anywhere tonight!
-Yep sounds good. What time should I be ready?
-Any way you could drive me to bayview er?
-Sprained ankle
-Fell
-Oh no! So sorry! Can I bring you anything? Gatorade?
-Do you have any wine/alcohol?
-You ok babe

-No problem


Text Messages OUTGOING
-What time you thinkin of dropping him off? I gotta run to walmart... He can come with.
-Yup didn't discover that my pizza was missing till after I got home :)
-That sucks!
-Holy shite!
-Yes sorry, had to work late and I have a baby on board. 8:15ish...
-Ooh... I'm going on Sunday... Want to meet me?
-Not yet today, but I assume he's coming with me.
-WTF?! I'm calling him now.
-Ooh, you should! I'm thinking of getting to Mosaic at 10:30. come meet us! Neighbor is coming and you can meet Sweet Lips :)
-Ok, lady. GNight!
-I'll call the cab at 10:20, so meet at my place then :)
-Everything ok?
-How?
-Sorry, been puking all morning :( Can't uncurl from this ball.
-I have some ginger ale and excedrin, but thanx. Sorry I'm going to miss the festival with you...
-Nope, sorry. I think that liquor store by the park on wash might be open...
-Yeah, still a bit nauseous. I should've known better than to eat an ice cream sunday for dinner ;) but I had fun!
-Thanx for bandaging my knee!

For Fall

I want leather.

I want festive/moody nailpolish.
I want mean lookin' boots.

I want gold.

I want leopard.

And more leopard.

Just cuz.

Suddenly in love...

with the Widow of the Upper East Side and her awesome smart-alicky fashion commentary on 
Steps of The Met. An instant blog favorite. With posts like these "I do love a bitch who knows how to switch up her looks, cause you know she'll switch it up in the sack. That's why Mariah Carey mussssst be the worst lay ever. Another day, another skin tight LBD. Just plain sick. Taylor has the ability to infuse a variety of styles into one outfit without looking like a fan of booze and Vicodin."
Ahh.... A woman/man (not sure yet) after my own heart.
Because I can definitely be won over on smartassiness alone.

Like Woah OR Holy Shitballs... Can't decide.

I started online dating again. Call it a momentary life lull. A friend of mine posted a link to his profile on Ok Cupid asking for advice. After checking out his profile, I found myself almost subconsciously filling out my own. I genuinely signed up with zero expectation. I thought the site was well-designed and I had some time to kill. In general, I try to keep an open-mind to online dating, but from experience I know it can be fruitless and exhausting.

At a time when dudes should be the least of my focus–I meet 2 genuine, attractive, thoughtful guys (whom I endearingly nickname Sweet Lips and Mr. February). So I do what comes as natural as applying mascara at a red light... I casually date them both. I make no promises and I encourage them to date other people (mostly out of my own guilt). I can feel almost immediately that this will not be enough for either of them. My luck that I meet probably the last 2 men in the (410) that are not afraid of the "C" word. This is good luck, right? I'm 2 times as lucky, but now I am torn between deciding between 2 great guys. Lucky me. These guys have different interests, musical taste, hobbies, etc. It's like comparing brie to manchego and I'm a chic that likes cheese and variety. Not sure if that analogy worked, but maybe you get the picture.
Well lucky 'ole Me. This weekend was Virgin Fest and when Lil Miss Taco Tuesday had a change of plans I invited Sweet Lips to join me. He had prior plans to attend an annual family crab feast. We decided to stop by there for a bit and then drive down to the concert in time to catch the major acts. I was meeting some of his family (mainly his cousins) for the 1st time, no biggie. I'm outside on a gorgeous day at his cousin's house digging into crabs. 3 and I'm over it. I leave Sweet Lips outside and go into the kitchen to wash my hands. I'm munching on some green beans as Mr. February walks into the room. I would give up cheese and chocolate for a week to see the reaction on my face at that moment. I do remember how I felt... Total and utter disbelief! Like woah OR holy shitballs! Krusty the Clown could've walked in the room and I would've felt less shock. These 2 dudes that I would've never put in similar social circles are about to stand in the same room... AND, I am so busted or am I? I did have a total initial panic. Mainly, I wanted to avoid embarrassment for everyone involved. Ok, mainly for myself. Panic turned into awkward/inward laughter, especially after introducing one to another and then kinda back to scared stiff as I watched the minutes tick down on the industrial-size clock. 

I left (escaped) without an ugly confrontation and opted to admit the sticky situation to Sweet Lips after the concert. Turns out that Mr. February plays in the same string quartet as Sweet Lips's cousin's wife. Follow that? Doesn't matter. It's a ridiculous coincidence and although I was upfront about my casualness with both of them... I still feel like a creep. A creep that needs to figure out what she really wants as not to upgrade to jerk status. Not sure how I actually feel about the "C" word anymore? I was just becoming a  pro at the one more readily used in relationships these days... Casual.

Weekend in Texts (9.24-9.26)

Text Messages OUTGOING
-I just called and moved it to tomorrow morning :_
-If you don't think it will take that long... Is there a game?
-I was dreaming I was having sex with Henry VIII when you sent that (too much Tudors). Good night?
-Awh, great day tho!
-OMG I just tried on the funniest shit! JLO jean jumper circa '99 with hip slits :)
-They have sugarbats in the mall! What do you call them again? I tried to take a pic but got denied.
-You say sugar glider, I say flying rat.
-I'm at a family cookout with Sweet Lips and Mr. February walks in! There are max 20 people here! I am cursed!
-Sweet Lip's cousin in law plays in Mr. Feb string quartet!!!! I am in the Twilight Zone right now.
-Wow, what are the chances?!
- Pretty ridiculous
-Hey chica, leaving here in an hour... Can't wait to see ya!
-Here! Lady, where ru?
-Concert was alot of fun. I'm literally hobbling around today from jumping around so much. My age is catching up to me ;)
-I'm sorry! I'm a jerk, especially when just waking up or when going to bed or when hungry, etc ;) did you have fun a the game?
-Busy? Or you hate me?

Text Messages INCOMING
-I want to get there around 5:30. Are you meeting with your freelance client?
-Ohh nice!
-You know I could run over and pick you up so you don't have to take a can
-Can=cab. Stupid phone
-Hey
-Ow that ride hurt
-You and your jumpers. :)
-Craziness! They're called sugar gliders.
-AH! Holy shit! What are the freaking odds?!
-Awkward... Im sure you handled it... Or did u sneak out? :)
-U are crazy!
-Total crazy. Smalltimore.
-Woo hoo!!!!!! Call me when u get here!!!!
-How was the concert?
-U hurt my feelings!!
-That's ok. I was drunk and loud. I apologize. I had a great time at the game. I lost my voice. You should eat and rest up.
-Not busy and definitely don't hate you - care abt you more than I can express - though yesterday definitely threw me for a loop.

Happy Freakin' Friday!

Photobucket
I won't be partaking in anything as classy as this... I'll be sweaty and surrounded by drunken minors, stepping on my feet to get a closer look at their favorite band. Yes, it's that time of year... Virgin Festival!
My official free-pass to go ape shit :) AND, frankly I deserve it!
Photobucket

My new favorite pastime.

Cargo Shorts. Ultimate Frisbee. Vegan Cookies. Hemp Necklace.
My new favorite pastime has been listening to Pandora and giving the thumbs down to what I like to call the Cry Baby's Club:
  1. John Mayer
  2. Dave Matthews
  3. Jack Jackson
  4. Jason Mraz
  5. Goo Goo Dolls
I forwarded along this SNL clip to May a while back:

And ever since, we have had an on-going string of emails updating each other on our lives with the subject line: Re: What doesn't scare Dave Matthews?

My alter ego 'tude for Tuesday

Any more and I'd be bleeding from the eyeballs.

The Gingers and Daywalkers among us.

My first memory of making fun of Gingers was many years ago... Elementary School... Art Class to be exact. Not sure how the discussion came about, but the young 5th grade girls were huddled in the back of the room cleaning off paint brushes when the subject of red-heads arose. Never shy to voice my opinion, I'm all like, "Gross, red-headed boys are so not cute!" How was I supposed to know that my brunette art class teacher had a ginger son?!? Ugh, I was informed of that fact after it was obvious she was eaves-dropping in our conversation. What does a 5th grader know about recessive genes anyway? Here I am... Star Artist! Instantly demoted to Black Sheep. Since then I have lowered my voice and looked over my shoulder once or twice before making fun of Gingers. That's why I'm so very happy that... making fun of Gingers is now in fashion :)
Photobucket
My friend Finks and I were discussing Gingers at the bar recently. He has a thing for the 15% of Gingers that he believes are Hotties, but then discards the other 85% to the bottom of his hair color scale. I on the other hand can't really think of any "Hot" Ginger men. They immediately go to the bottom of my scale. Not that I'm opposed to dating one... I have, but most of the conversations with my GF's usually ended with, "Well, he is a Ginger..." All the Ginger-talk led to the "Ginger Kid" South Park episode which I had clearly missed the bus on. I suggested we pay the tab and immediately hit a computer to watch it. Freakin' hilarious! Daywalkers?!? What? I love learning new derogatory terms. Get schooled on Gingervitus here (Season 9, ep.11).
Photobucket
BTW: I think it's super sexy to see some salt/pepper grey mixed in any hair color.
Photobucket
*If Mr. Right came in Ginger-packaging, I'd be all for it. I would just cross my fingers and hope that my genes dominate.

DIY(ing) this... Just as soon as they add 4 more hours to the day.

Photobucket
The Book Clutch courtesy of Kate Spade. Very cute idea with an unattractive price tag. I'm thinkin' it can be done without a hinge, sewing in an interior pocket, coating with a polyurethane seal and affixing some type of leather clasp to close... maybe schoolbook style. Would be a cute gift for my GF's. I'll get right on it ;)
Photobucket

A bit overwhelmed...

Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Mainly because I'm operating on an empty tube of mascara and 
it annoys me just as much as going sans watch.
Sleep Suit by Forrest Jessee • Seen via Design Love Fest

My Olsen Fix

I've been feeling mega freakin' stressed lately. I think I need to go back to the simple things in life that make me happy... Like my fave lil bug-eyed sisters!
Photobucket
Hello, look an the velvet dress detailing paired with the shirred leather crop jacket. ahhh......
Photobucket
Yes, it's the peek-a-boo bra that does if for me here.
Photobucket
I love these proportions... the ultra skinny jeans and the super chunky wedge.
Photobucket
Here I'd like to just chop off her left arm.
Photobucket
This one just kinda speaks for itself, no?!? Chillz.
Photobucket
And this my friends–is how you do lace.
Honestly, already feeling a bit more calm.

Recovering Bad Boy Lover

melting typeThe other day, I had a totally normal/civil/genuine conversation with one of my ex's. He had initially called to ask whether or not I wanted this dresser back that my mother had lent him. But before we got into that, we went through the typical catch-up... "How's work? How's your family? How was your summer? blah/blah/blah." But there was no bitterness. I genuinely wanted to hear that he was doing well. See, he was one of the only decent dudes I dated in my 20's. My 20's were plagued by back2back douche bags who I stupidly pledged my devotion to. I had to learn my lessons the hard way. Realize that–kicking and screaming my way through a relationship is no way to live. Realize that–it's not up to me to be anyone's savior, when I obviously need to help myself.

Eventually, I got to asking him if he was dating anyone. EVEN THOUGH... I totally knew the answer. He was never in my immediate social scene (not that I really have one and I totally do not recommend dating in your "circle"), but Smalltimore always lives up to it's name. Word of his new chic got back to me soon enough. Chances have it that Lil Miss Taco Tuesday works with his new chic's mother. She put 2 and 2 together and I received a phone call one random workday afternoon–demanding me to sign on to her facebook account and then click on chic's page, where I immediately found pics of their young love. I honestly did'nt feel much. Although there is always the automatic comparison that you do with new chic and you. Ego still intact, I was happy for him. She obviously could hear birds chirping when she was with him. It was cute. I hear now he has whole facebook albums dedicated to him (a ridiculous amount of poses with a boogie board). Well... good for him. He needed a chic like that. And maybe this dude needed a chic that was going to dedicate Flickr albums to him. Who knows... I know it ain't me.

I can't revolve my world around Dude. I will never dedicate albums to you.

Point really being... I felt all kinds of grown-up for having a grown-up conversation with an ex. Sad I know, but reality. You want to hear sad... I almost told someone the other day to "not be so nice... because I am a recovering bad boy lover" :/

Run, then stroll.

Enjoy this insanely perfect weather while you still can... Last weekend, I checked out an outdoor sculpture exhibit at the Evergreen titled Simultaneous Presence. The exhibit is free and just north of Loyola in Bmore. Beautiful grounds of an old mansion (now a museum), littered with odd/thought-provoking, sometimes beautiful statements. Ends September 26, so get ta steppin'.
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket

My alter ego 'tude for Tuesday

I will remain unruffled.

Gems courtesy of Lil Miss Honsauce

LM Honsauce: You never know... in that window of opportunity they can bring out the crazy, or you can bring out your crazy.
.....................................................................
(Looking at dude at next table with way older lady)
LM Honsauce: I think it's his mom
Me: He's cute, too bad I just divulged all my dating drama, maybe I should've used my indoor voice... 
LM Honsauce: What are you talking about? This IS your indoor voice.
.....................................................................
LM Honsauce: Guys that look like that... Their genes have no power.
.....................................................................
LM Honsauce: Yeah, you're in the jungle and you're thinking a pterodactyl is going to come swoop down.
.....................................................................
LM Honsauce: I feel old in Brooklyn, like know one wears heels like that... you dress like you stink but you don't actually stink. You smell like roses but you look like poop. Hipsters are funny that way.
.....................................................................
LM Honsauce: We're like old fashioned donuts now. Donut are not contemporary or hip... Donut are fucking donuts.
.....................................................................
LM Honsauce: Whatever happened to that really pretty one? The one whose boyfriend pissed on her hand bag...
Me: Who??? I told you that??? Shit, I have a big mouth.

My new fave word: Wonky

Keepin' it straight wonky...
A wee bit wonky...
His delivery was rather wonkyish...
still hashin' it out – print courtesy of AARDVARK