Creepy thoughts

I'm supposed to cook 2 impress tonight, but I have 1/2 a mind to make this :
Love the use of an onion as a bone!
Inspiration for Halloween costumes... Friday/Saturday???

My eggs are fresh-according to my gyn

To the left is an APOLOGY LOAF (banana bread with nuts) given to me by my co-worker today. I actually demanded this loaf–even demanded it be low in fat/high in flavor. I figured it was the least my co-worker could do after putting my womanhood in question. I work in a room with 2 other females who we'll nickname Mouth and May (since they may re-appear) and I sit in the middle. FYI: the lack of PCness in MY office could def rival that of The Office. Generally, no subject is off limits and thick skin is preferred. So on the morning in question, I was sitting quietly at my desk/catching up on emails/sipping coffee, when Mouth says to May (over my head): "Hey May, I got a tip for ya." Ok, some backstory: Mouth often gives "tips" and usually they revolve around software shortcuts from email updates she gets, which she announces to both May and I. On this morning, I quietly wondered why I had been left out of the "tip"... "So, May," she says, "when your thinkin' about enlisting your kids in sports–pick lacrosse or maybe even soccer because their practices are an hour long, compared to football which is two..." I really can't remember if there was more to this "tip", because upon realizing that this was a personal attack on my womanhood–my head started to slowly rotate in her direction (or maybe it did a 360 like the exorcist-not sure). After giving her the look of death, I say, "What is there no hope for me? Am I barren? Are my eggs no-good? Are my eggs ROTTEN?" Ha/Ha, we laughed about it, but I could not get over how I was left out of the motherhood conversation. Yes, I am single and May just got hitched, but she has no plans to bear children in the near future and even so–I do plan to be a mother someday! Who knows I could even beat May to the punch (doubtful, but still). I immediately demanded a low-fat baked good and later specified that I would like a low-fat banana bread with nuts. Today, was my payday. I guess since Mouth baked an APOLOGY LOAF, I have to lay off on the whole rotten eggs deal, but I may try and milk something else out of her or just make her feel uncomfortably foolish for a lil longer... why not.

new 2nd hand purses

Recently I've been scouring 2nd hand stores and Goodwill for pieces to use in my Halloween costume (Hells Angel Biker Chic). While searching for leather studded items and biker vests, I've come across some random other goodies. I picked up all these purses for minimal dough and I thought they would be perfect for my trip next week. Barcelona has a bad reputation for pickpocketing, so it's recommended that your purse stay across/in front of you at all times–these long straps will make that easy (minus the fringe one), not to mention leave my hands free for picture-taking or dancing. They are all good quality and all leather (minus the black one)–so score ;)

Online dating of the good variety

So, I went on a total blind date with a book club last night! Well... not totally blind (I have been following the blog of one of the members), but this was our first meeting and I had some major butterflies. I actually welcomed this feeling with open arms, since any recent dates have left me totally apathetic. These days, dates are lucky if I shower and apply lipgloss-but last night I sprayed the good perfume and even plucked a couple eyebrow hairs. I also stopped by my neighbor's house to have a warm-up drink and so they could make fun of what a dork I was. Being that I hadn’t read the book (only knew about it days prior), I showed up late to try and avoid the discussion that I couldn’t contribute to. I arrived to a boat full of sushi and bottles of white wine (already my kind of girls!). The conversation revolved around work, idiot boys, movies, past events/future events, boardgames, and yeah some book talk... It was a breathe of fresh air-a nice change of pace from oohing and aahing over kitchen utensils and the ins and outs of breast feeding. Initially I was afraid I would be put on the spot, ignored, judged, etc. But, none of that took place. It was pretty darn effortless and wonderful. I left giddy with the possibility of new friends, maybe it sounds silly-but it has always been hard as hell for me to meet women with similar interests and at similar points in life. BEST OF ALL-my new lady blogger friend didn’t make me wait! I received a confirmation text shortly after I arrived home-that feelings were mutual. No waiting games, no mixed signals-just honesty... Now that is something to ooh and ahh over!  

Oh this? it's custom.

I dig this trend! Making accessories and apparel "your own". I have a strong affinity for watches... leather, metal, chunky, feminine, old school, modern (I think I need one of each). At La Mer's site you can create your own eclectic vibe, mixing metal faceplates with different color leather bands and adding whatever charms your into. Below are some combinations I came up with, I like the idea of mixing the types of metals and I always gravitate towards gold. Great prices BTW (customized watches are approx. $118).
More customization at Ralph Lauren, specifically with their Rugby Collection. Here you can pick from polos, cardigans, rugbys, hats, etc. and add a variety of preppy themed patches, numeric patches or specific text. Some of this is silly because it's pretty simple to iron on or sew most of this stuff, but I do dig the opportunity to tag your name–you know, just in case your cardigan or rugby gets misplaced with your girlfriends or somesuch. And I really dig this rugby-esque dress, I picture it pairing nicely with some tights and leather boots. Rugby dress approx. $128.

Ray all day, everyday

Friday night I saw Ray LaMontagne at the Meyerhoff in Bmore, backed by the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra... phenomenal! The show far exceeded all my expectations. His voice was even sweeter and more deliciously raspy in person. I'd like to have at least one of his bastard children, is this too much to ask?! Here is a quickie review of the show by the Sun. The show's arranger and conductor was David Campbell (Beck's Daddy), picked out by my friend Sharkey.
lol highly irritates me, especially when coming from a male (2cutesy). lol is for people who can't read or write sarcasm. Although, I'm a huge offender of over-using smiley faces (so that people get my sarcasm), so I'm  just as bad. I need to stop that.

Gaudi vs. Nissan Cube

No competition of course... but do you think that Gaudi inspired this car creation? Maybe I've been looking at Gaudi too much lately... And, don't get me wrong–I think this vehicle is pretty ugg, but I will be getting up-close-and-personal with Gaudi's beautiful masterpieces (Casa Batlló and La Pedrera above) in about 20 days! Can't wait!!!

Women are silly.

So I awoke early Saturday morning to attend a Nordstrom’s Trend show with some of the sweet ladies in my family. They had gone to them in the past and recommended getting there at 6:30am to secure a seat up front. I said a “hells no” to this and volunteered to bring the Starbucks in exchange for rolling up right before start time (8am). I should’ve put some Bailey’s in my coffee to prepare me for the SCREAMING/clearly-not-in-their-right-mind women that I had to deal with for the next 2hours. Wow, I like fashion and beauty products just as much as any other woman, but apparently not enough to be spontaneously jumping from my seat with joy and hysteria. The premise of this is: the louder more over-the-top you got, the greater possibility of you scoring free shit (I mean products). Yeah, free stuff is nice, but frankly from what I could tell (and judging the cars in the parking lot) none of these woman were hurting for the nicer beauty products in life. The greatest cringe-worthy moment were the tweens doing their best to get the attention of the host... in hopes of what? A free Clarisonic (battery operated device used to reduce the appearance of your pores). Upon one of these tweens actually winning one of these ($200) contraptions (through raffle), the Clarisonic rep assures the audience that the device can be used from ages 8-80. Excuse me? I don’t think 8 year olds need to be worried about their pores! They have all their late-20’s and up to be doing that.

Irving Penn 1917-2009

Some info on his life .

Some online pic Do's and Dont's

-No pics of you and your pimp ride. I don't care how pimp it is!
-No pics with babies, toddlers, etc. I don't care how cute they are-this is not a turn on.
-Have ALL your pics taken by yourself in your mirror. Makes me think you have no friends.
-No glamour shots if you are not a paid model or realtor. Vain.
-No flexing or semi-nude shots. Please leave something to the imagination, plus it makes me think you're overcompensating for other areas.
-No cats! Suspect.
-Forget to label yourself in group shots. I could be looking at your much cuter friend and be wasting time.
-Get so close I can count your nose hairs.
-No before&after shots. Why am I interested in the you that was 5, 10 years ago(thinner/more hair)?
-No blurry pics. Blurry pics imply you are only attractive from afar.
-Have pics of yourself in exotic locations. Says your adventurous/cultured.
-Have pics in boats that are possibly yours. Girls like boats, well at least this one.
-Have pics with dogs. They are a bonus, unless they are girly dogs-in that case: Suspect
-Have pics with mom or family. Men with good family relationships are usually well-rounded.
-Have full-frontal face shots. So I know your not hiding a hairy mole.

Love those lines

Came across these lovely illustrations by Garance Doré...
She has recently collaborated with the Gap, find out more here .
I need a guy who hits repeat on his favorite song till he feels it in his bones.

Crafty bastard highlights

This weekend, I attended Crafty Bastards in Adams Morgan. The vendors at this arts & crafts festival can be primarily described as quirky and kitch, with a sizeable dash of dark humor. There was also an amazing Bboy competition, which mesmerized me for a large part of the day... especially the dude with a prosthetic leg who didn't skip a beat and continued to "battle" after removing his leg... truly inspiring. Below are some bastards that stood out:
Also, I can't leave out the cuddly soft penis' with sarcastic inscriptions:
Art links: Berkley Illustration, Brainstorm, Rar Rar Press, Tugboat Printshop, The Black Spot Books, and last but not least The Prick Cushion

Adios Melt-in-your-mouth sliders (tear/tear)

Hands down, my favorite appetizer in Baltimore is the Foie Gras & Kobe Beef Slider (with truffle aioli and red onion marmalade) at Salt. Unfortunately I was accosted with news that has made me rethink... Friday night as I'm walking to dinner in Federal Hill, I thought I was walking in the midst of a fight by the look of all the PoPo that were around, but it was in fact an anti-foie gras demonstration out in front of Corks (white linen restaurants). I would say it was a band of 10 or so crunchy-granola types with pictures of tortured ducks, picket signs and loud mouths. Apparently I've been totally oblivious to the practice of attaining foie gras, and even without doing much research, I knew this would end my love affair with Salt's Sliders ;(  Yeah, it sucks what they do to the ducks, but I think I'm more annoyed that I'll never get to taste my fave app again (at least with a clear conscience).

the fall lineup

I think I might be missing some purple...
All can be purchased at either: endless, piperlime or nine west

the straw that broke my back or made me cancel my eharmony account

I was not only matched with this gentleman, but after your matched you have the opportunity to review each others profiles... apparently after reviewing my profile he thought we had enough in common to contact me and attempt to open the lines of communication or maybe he was captivated by my smile... who knows.

The 5 things this potential suitor can't live without (typed word4word): 1. a good laugh & morning coffee 2. Passion/Phisical Contact 3. My pillow 4. My Cats 5. Toilet Paper-Think about it!