Dude, get your nerd on.

This site is so well done. Iconic images are deconstructed with modern fashion links. Way classy.
The following are some of my faves:
Move over Mary-Kate... Mr. Miyagi is apparently my new muse.

Weekend Shenanigans

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: (on deciding whether or not to tell someone it's not going to develop into a relationship) Why? Why?Has anyone ever cared about your hopes and dreams?

Me: You say "Date Night" and I go limp.
Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: Or I stay home.

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: I'm 28 single and jaded as a MFer and you're 31 single and jaded as a MFer... How is either one of us supposed to give each other sound advice?

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: (to 2 dudes) Are you guys on a date? Just askin'... You guys are bickering like you are.

Email OUT: Smalltimore Strikes Again
So apparently there is a dude in Baltimore with some excellent taste in women... Since he went on a date with the both of us in the same week ;) What are the chances?!
Text Messages INCOMING
-Which dude?? I went on 3 dates in one week, so . . . . :)
-Oh ha ha! So funny. How did you find out?
-That is awkwardly hilarious where did you guys go?
-I know. I am done with dating. That is so awkward- for him.
-It fucking sucks.
-Ha no worries. Just tired of the same old same old.
-I know right? He seemed like a nice guy tho. 

Text Messages OUTGOING
-Hilarious. I believe you went to Salt...
-Well..... The girl with the dragon tatoo was brought up, I mentioned that was my book club book and he put 2 and 2 together.
-Pretty damn funny.
-Yes, my jaw was dropped the entire time he told me... We went to Jacks Bistro.
-Contrary to popular belief... There are NOT many fish in the pond.
-Ahh... The joys of dating in Smalltimore.
-I know and that's why i've had my sights and weekends set on DC, figures the one time I stay local...
-I believe he's a good dude, the coincidence is just reedic.

Feelin' a bit stabby today...

Lil Miss J. Boogie: Saw this in the city paper and thought of you! Xoxo

Ha! Some might find this offensive... I call it love ;)

New lows for Cosmo

Had to snap a pic... not for the "Guy Sex" which EVERY issue revolves around, but for the "Untamed..." I won't even repeat it because if anyone I know (male or female) should call a vagina that... I would swiftly backhand them.

BTW: I soooooooooooo doubt the basis of that article.

My alter ego 'tude for Tuesday

My marketing team (me) is busy at work.

The interns are boning.

...I'm sure they would never use that term because they are beyond syrupy sweet. I've already scheduled my dentist appointment because every time they open their mouth my teeth ache. "Adorable" (hate that word) lil couple that sit caddy corner from each other. From what I gather they have a thrilling weekly schedule that involves Noodles & Company on Wednesday and the local (chain) bar that they can walk to on Friday. You can tell that the dude is totally enamoured by her. Jumping at every opportunity to get her attention. Taunting her... inventing lil games to entertain her. I have resisted the urge to burst into laughter on several occasions. Today they played cat and mouse over a yogurt that he stole from her and teased her by scraping the end of the cup. It's obnoxious, but I find myself turning my headset down just to torture myself with their shenanigans.

Mostly, I wonder if they're for real? Are they always that sweet to each other? Also, I wonder if I'm just turning into a nasty bitter witch. Frowning down on young love :/ I've become so immune to the bullshit, always expecting to find some skeleton. Working on the assumption that anything that seems too good to be true is. Sad... I'm sure it's totally plausible that they have a groovy kind of love. I think I might be a bit jealous... Eewh! Not of Noodles & Company, but... I guess of that sort of unabashed declaration of love. The kind that does not involve a text message or a facebook post. Not positive but I think he may be willing to kill a small horse for her.

A girl can dream...


Weekend in Text (8.20-8.22)

Text Messages INCOMING
-He's the boss. There's much to ponder
-I'm hooked on this one show 12 Corazones
-Check it out on Univision. That's where I learn my Spanish.
-Don't be gay. Lets go tomorrow or Sunday. Or I can come to Baltimore and get drunk w u and sleep out in my car
-Don't be gay...
-I can't even describe to you how excited I am to get on my bike in a few minutes!
-Yep. Just got back. Taking a short ride then heading to jersey
-I'm working :(
-Not much... bored
-Con asleep...
-Don't let your (well-intentioned) mom get you down. Those of us with high standards have to walk through a lot of doors (revolvtofind) What we are looking for
-(note to self: stop texting while driving)
-That's the right approach. :)
-Moms will be moms.
-Finally in new jersey! Took forever to grt here
-Will do!
-Having beers at the house, but gonna head out in an hour or so. Where u?
-Cool, walking down in a few, will shoot you a txt.
-I'm about to eat tilapia stuffed with crab! Mmmm
Text Messages OUTGOING
-Pluto looks like he's in deep thought in his profile pic.
-What's 12 hearts about?
-I still think we should go to the zoo. We can do that this weekend if u want.
-I'm always down for the zoo... maybe next weekend.
-Ur not supposed to drink...
-Awh ur cute ;) you at ur house? Have a nice bike ride!
-Glad Sweets, get some rest and have a great race tomorrow! Let me know how it goes.
-You working this morning? Tennis?
-Bummer... Maybe tom... though I think I might try and do church.
-Sup chica?
-You eat breakfast yet?
-Call when he wakes up, I want to see him ;)
-Ha yes, Mom and her worries... Sometimes I want to cry, but mostly I laugh ;)
-Btw I say that to myself everyday, just can't quit cold turkey
-Glad Sweets, get some rest and have a great race tomorrow! Let me know how it goes.
-Hey chic in ur hood... You out?
-Mamas... Let me know, not sure how long I'll be...
-Yumm... Tacos will be better though ;)

I think she's starting to worry...

The book my Mom just bought me:
Buyers, Renters & Freeloaders... Turning Revolving-Door Romance into Lasting Love

My alter ego 'tude for Tuesday

All this Eminem has me feeling a wee bit aggressive (I mean like more than usual).
The CD is quite amazing btw, if you have'nt heard it...

A man after my own heart.

Sample of Eminem’s, “Space Bound”
We touch, I feel a rush 
We clutch, it isn’t much 
But it’s enough to make me wonder what’s in store for us 
It’s lust, it’s torturous 
You must be a sorceress cause you just 
Did the impossible 
Gain my trust, don’t play games it’ll be dangerous 
If you fuck me over 
Cause if I get burnt, I’ma show you what its like to hurt 
Cause I been treated like dirt before ya 
And love is evil 
Spell it backwards I’ll show ya 

(Verse 1) 
Nobody knows me, I’m cold 
Walk down this road all alone 
It’s no ones fault but my own 
Its the path I’ve chosen to go 
Frozen as snow, I show no emotion whatsoever so 
Don’t ask me why, I have no love for these mufuckin’ hoes 
Bloodsuckin succubus, what the fuck is up with this 
I’ve tried in this department but I ain’t had no luck with this 
Its sucks but its exactly what I thought it would be 
Like tryin’ to start over 
I gotta hole in my heart, I’m some kind of emotional roller-coaster 
Somethin’ I won’t go on til you toy with my emotion so its over 
It’s like an explosion, every time I hold ya wasn’t jokin’ when I told ya 
Ya take my breathe away 
You’re a supernova.. and I’m a 

I’ma space bound rocket ship and your heart’s the moon 
And I’m aiming right at you 
Right at you 
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June 
And I’m aiming right at you 
Right at you 
Right at you 

Weekend in Texts (8.13-8.15)

-Indeed. Perhaps we should get together to celebrate soon?
-Deal. Restaurant week starts today. Any nicer places you want to try out?
-I was sorta thinking Oregon Grille but I'm up for anything
-Sounds like a plan. I'll keep Sat (8/21) free and maybe we'll be able to squeeze in a drink on Sun.
-In the meantime, in the spirit of the Internet age of disclosure, my last name is ******. Google me to your heart's content. All cool info is true. All nerdy info is false ;)
-I have some sad news: I have only inserted a wall anchor twice in my life.
-(Have I mentioned that I search the internet for a living?) couldn't help myself.
-:) totally the opposite. You're hilarious and creative in ways few are.
-Chuckle. You're not too shabby at Internet sleuthing.
-Hey! I'm out in the city are you out?
-At woodys in fells but I can come wherever!
-I got back late last night. So we both had ridiculous good weeks? Nice!
-Yes we should. How's tomorrow night?
-Ooh, love restaurant week. Let me check online...
-Oh geez! ;) I have a concert I'm supposed to go to this Sunday, though it's still tentative. I guess next Sat, unless my Sun free's up...
-Ha, likewise: ******  *******
-VERY sneaky of you!
-Hope you're not scared now :/
-I have actually been working on my online anonymity... Guess I should work harder.
-Fullbright? Not too shabby...
-Where you at?!
-Would love to see ya!
-I'm on my way!
Saturday (INCOMING)
-Footlong cheesesteak, pluto asleep next to me, Star Wars marathon on Spike. Cant have more fun alone with my pants on.
-I'm watching A Time To Kill now. But we can convene any time. The only caveat is that I have court on Tuesday so my fate and freedom is yet tbd. Cest la vie.
-Lol... Anything ELSE on your list? ;P
-Would the windows version of cs5 help at all?
-I know... I'll work on it :)
Saturday (OUTGOING)
-Truly sounds like a spectacular night!
-Can you please do me a favor as your future life long friend and send me a message on tuesday?!
-Drive back sucked! On another note: if you can pirate me Illust, Flash, Dreamweaver CS5... I will be your very bestest friend!
-Lemme check on my latest dreamweaver, but I need all MAC baby! ;)
-Curtains look great! They will be the sunny spot in the eclipse of bac 2 work! Thanx my beautiful girl
-P.s. I do have a lil token uv appreciation 4 u stop by sometime this wk after 5
-Yep I think you're the lucky one!
-Nope I feel fine. Although we may have had a few beers while we were playing...
-Where you at homie???
-How was ur date???
-I feel ya... Things that we need never motivate us but that shit that u want, will have u doing the unthinkable to obtain...
-It was good. Hung with work people friday. Hung with public enemy yesterday and dj'ed last night.
-My roomate got rid of hbo. I'm gonna find somewhere to watch it tonight.
-It was good. Although I drove around for an hour with Chuck D yesterday trying to get his transmission fixed.
-Look at us, both paying proper respect to our moms. :) Shall I call you once my mom leaves?
-Dropping off your curtains in a bit...
-Anytime! :)-K, but all I need is love ;)-Are you sure you're not delirious from playing in the rain all day? Perhaps you should check ur temp?-That explains ur delusions of grandeur.
-Pretty good, nice guy... Maybe too nice. Prob what I need, but that rarely motivates me.
-Pretty good... Took advantage of Bmore rest week, chillin' at Moms now catching up on my Trueblood. How bout you?-Yeah, I usually watch it at moms or ****'s, although somewhat risque for mama's. Ur weekend sound fun :)
-Umm... Hi, that message was pretty freakin' hilarious, thank you.
-I guess the visual made me laugh.-Everyday is Mothers Day. Sure, give me a ring.

Bmore Club LOVE

Hipsters gone wild. Pretty bummed I missed this.
Some pretty funny commentary via GuyWerner on youtube: Kids went nuts. Dancing was dirty like Swayze. Someone got pregnant, had a baby and sent it to art school. Scottie B spun the canon of club, the pantheon of pop, the hits of hipsterdom. Hipsters were clapping with their hands above their heads and no one minded the smell. Kevin Blackistone was wearing a hat that made him look like Lawrence of Arabia crossed with Super Mario. Cullen struck 1000 poses behind Scottie without ever being on stage.

Quotes from the road

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: Oooh, grapefruit is really good too... Not sure if it's desperation or what... No, it's good. These stars are f*cking killing me!

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: I don't know, but I'd like to kill all these kids with a BB gun and steal their fire.

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: Did you say 'squirt'?
Local: Yeah, that's what clams do they squirt.
Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: I hate that word, almost as bad as 'moist'.

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: I think she's doing it right now.
Me: Oh my god, why does your mind immediately go there?
Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: It's either there or my kidneys getting stolen tomorrow night.

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: I wonder if brain freeze can give you permanent brain damage?

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: It smells weird here. (I turn to her and she makes a stinky face) I mean I know I just farted... not that.

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: I just saw three cock grabs on the dance floor.

Bartender in Ptown: So, you're going to leave here through the parking lot... but trust me it's the safest town to be a straight girl.

Bartender in Ptown: Between this pier and this pier is the Good Times Pub... Don't go there, it's not a good time. It's the biggest lie in town.

Me: I'm an artist.
Local (Ansel): Is that what other people call you or you call yourself?
Me: Both.

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: Have you ever heard the word diesel before? How about the word medium penis?


I believe there was a hot tub and barely legal locals involved. Thanks to our bartender who drew us a detailed map including smileys faces that depicted where I could find testosterone. Oh, also almost got in a fight with dude from Bmore making a face at my hood... Really! Mt. Vernon, you should not be making a face.
Sprint sucks... In Ptown (Providencetown) and finally have service.. I'm also surrounded by like 500 of the hottest gay men I've ever seen... Hoping one of them will adopt us for the evening. Fingers crossed. Walked into Boatslip  (a club on the water) to a house version of Xanado :)

Burnt and Bitten

Yesteday we arrived at our lil hippie hostel before noon. A cute white beach house with red roof and front porch. Inside were travelers of all ages, some international folk and somelady in a kerchief and long skirt making some serious soup. We change into our bathing suits in the parking lot and walk up a hill over the sand dunes to a gorgeous beach. We immediate set our supplies down to run in the water. Tiny bit chilly, but very refreshing... Hardly any people and amazing views right or left. We spend the majority of the day totally relaxing on the beach with books, music and snacks. We decide to take a stroll along the beach. The more north we go, the more secluded it becomes. We happen upon a menage a trois of nudist and try to avoid eye contact as we concoct a slew of pecker jokes. Shower up around 6 and head to Provincetown (at the very tip). Super cute town with rainbow flags at every corner. Pretty much a meca for flaming gay men. We contemplate going to an all nude boy show, appropriately titled: Naked Boys, but settle on celebratory Taco Tuesday fish tacos and site-seeing instead.
Luckily, our room is all chics. We can see the ocean from our window and nighttime is like our own personal planitarium.
10am now and we are on the beach, know one else around except this surfer looking dude throwing a line in the water. iPod playing the 500 Days of Summer Soundtrack. Reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Lil Miss Taco Tuesday reading This Charming Man. Think we'll rent some bikes later...

The Taco Tuesday Tag Team heads to Cape Cod

It's about 8 am and we are headed to Cape Cod. We spent the night at a campsite a couple yards from the beach in Madison CT. Got there around 2, promptly plopped ourselves on the beach. Water temp was lovely, could've done without the "lionsmane" jellyfish though... Around happy hour, LM Taco Tuesday and I hit the box and tackle the asembly of our tent. We almost quit in the first 3 minutes... Poles were'nt bending right, wind kept blowing the damn thing up, but it came together when I got in the center to lift the axis while LMTT attached the corners. Then we sat at our dinner table (picnic bench) to cheers and relish in our accomplishment... Ah... We showered at the site: 2 suspect stalls right next to each other. LMTT freakin out over anything with legs, specifically a spider that I had to kill for her. After some suggestions from the camp staff, we headed to Bills on the water for a lil shellfish smorgasboard: mussels, clams, shrimp. We got to talking to the locals at the bar for a bit, who kept offering to be our tour guide on their boats. We graciously took their cards to be polite (maybe on the way back we'd say). OH! Also, on the way out LMTT noticed a massive turd dump on the back of my summer dress. Seriously, it was pretty gross, but it added intensity to the nonstop giggles of the day. We ended the night at our dinner table getting camp drunk and listening to Ray (LaMontagne), philosiphizing about life and shit. I think LMTT lasted til about 4am in the tent till she couldn't take the lil bugs buzzin' round and left to sleep in the car. Me, I just pulled the sheet over my head and continued to sleep. She woke me round 7am complaining about bug bites... Though I couldn't see any. She said one bit her head and I said I think it bit her brain. Either way, she had reached her camping limit.

So now we're driving along the coast up to our next adventure! I found us a hostel right on the water, pretty much at the tippy tip of that curly stretch in MA. Yup, hostel! LMTT is concerned about her kidneys being stolen. I'm excited! There were only coed rooms left, so should be interesting.

We are also in the process of trying to dread LMTT's hair, i already got a seashell in there.

*i am not spellchecking btw

On Turnpike

Taking at stab at blogging on the move... Lil Miss Taco Tuesday and I are in a packed car: flip flops, beach umbrella, H2O, box wine, mini's, apples, PB&J, GPS, iPod (Liliy Allen on currently), tent! Some more stuff but you get the picture. Speaking of tent... This will be the first tent we ever set up sans dude. Really how hard can they be anyway. I have total confidence in us, but prob best to set-up prior to hitting the box. Or hit the box and video for your viewing pleasure :)

Cape Cod Calling...

Polyvore links here.

Sneakers with some umph.

The more I look a them... the more I like–love them...

Because the straight route is not always the best way.

I want... an Inspiration Pad.

When I grow up...

And have enough yard space for a croquet set... I am throwing this party! 
Apartment Therapy had this great idea to host a Heather's Croquet Party:
What teen of the late 80's doesn't love the high school angst of "Heathers"? Bring it back by informing guests of your event with a raging "Dear Diary" style invitation. Encourage everyone to dress in Heather approved fashions like football jerseys ("I love my dead, gay son!"), colorful tights, jackets with shoulder pads, and of course, red scrunchies. The banquet menu should include appetizers of Corn Nuts and pâté, spaghetti with lots of oregano, and blue Drano cocktails (otherwise known as Blue Moon cocktails).
This movie is a cult classic! I was morbidly obsessed back in the day... I would have to don a blonde wig and crown myself "Heather Chandler" (aka Queen B*itch in Red) just for the affair.

Haven't seen the movie? Get some friends together and play the Heathers Movie Drinking Game.

:/ (I despise crooked face)

My alter ego 'tude for Tuesday

Headin' North...
Next week, hopefully leaving Sunday/Monday up the coast to be a beach bum, dig for clams, and crack open some lobsters on a pier as the sun is setting... ahh... don't it sound nice. A lil Thelma and Louise style, minus the murder and suicide, but hopefully with hot/young Brad Pitt-types a plenty.

Weekend in Photos (7.30-8.1)

Friday Happy Hour (Magic Hour) at Bay Cafe
Dude: Are you talking about the gun?
Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: Yes, they are just so damn interesting.
Me: Yes, metaphorically and phorically speaking.

Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: Is this somebodies wife right here?
Dude: No, total stranger. Just looking to hookup I guess.
Lil Miss Taco Tuesday: I can see that by her white shoes.
Saturday Night BBQ at Lil Miss Honsauce's crib
(Catch Phrase, Karaoke, Patron and a Finger-Lickin' Menu)
Me: Well I want to travel... I want a job...
Ultramatik: You can be my boo.
Me: What exactly are the duties of a boo? Plus, no one is going to get that outside of Bmore...

Lil Miss Honsauce: Last week, we were playing this game and the word was "french bread"... 
He just kept saying "ooh laa laa, ooh laa laa."