Excerpts from Catcher in the Rye

She was terrific to hold hands with. Most girls, if you hold hands with them, their goddam hand dies on you, or else they think they have to keep moving their hands all the time, as if they were afraid they'd bore you or something. Jane was different. We'd get into a goddam movie or something, and right away we'd start holding hands, and we won't quite till the movie was over. And without changing the position or making a deal out of it. You never even worried, with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were happy. You really were.
The Catcher in the Rye  Holden Caulfield in Chapter 11

Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them - if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry.
The Catcher in the Rye  Mr. Antolini in Chapter 24

All morons hate it when you call them a moron.
The Catcher in the Rye  Holden Caulfield in Chapter 6

Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.
The Catcher in the Rye Holden Caulfield in Chapter 22

J.D. Salinger (1.1.1919–1.28.2010)

Where the magic should be happening

My Ideal Bedroom...Photobucket
with this bed setup and flooring...

Oh no you didn't...

We are celebrating Mouth's 40th Birthday at the office today. She leaves earlier than the rest of us, so it was easy to decorate yesterday. Well, sorda... Those balloons were super hard to blow up! I mean, I'm on the floor blowing with all my might/about to pass out/room spinning and Boss Lady says, "Geez, now I can see why you're single." HOLY INAPPROPRIATENESS! Then she says, "Here, use the hand pump. Practice your technique." True story.

Olsen Lovin'... not sure which one, doesn't matter.

I love this photo for several explicable and even more inexplicable reasons...
  • The seemingly disheveled nature
  • The over-accessorizing
  • The mixing of metals and beads
  • The little pops of red
  • The grossly-oversized mens shirt
  • The grenade keychain
  • The diet Coke
  • The little flash of bra
  • The gold men's watch
  • The retro Raybans
  • AND, probably the number 1 reason: the lil curled lip stank face she's giving. Love it.

When accessorizing always take off the last thing you put on.                                    CoCo Chanel

I think that's true for the "Red Carpet", but for day to day... pile that shit on.

The balls on that Dude.

A couple months ago, I accompanied a Friend to a casual "work" party at someone's house. Friend was fairly new to the department (also one of the youngest) and I think he viewed it as a way to network and smooze a bit with his co-workers. I didn't want to stand in the way of this... so I tried to strike up conversations with other party-goers.

Maybe a lil backstory is necessary... Friend had a (fairly important) government job and was an ex-Marine. What does that mean? Two inflated heads sitting on his shoulders. I'm not going to lie... Cocky men have been my downfall. Dating a cocky man means I spend the majority of time trying to chip away at his pedestal and frankly, that is no fun. On another note: Ladies! If you encounter these men–do yourself and other woman a favor... No Compliments!

This party was full of inflated heads and for the most part they were all pretty entertaining. I struck up conversation with one in particular who I seemingly had a lot in common with. He had worked in Puerto Rico for several years and had opened an art gallery in NOLA years back. I actually enjoyed my conversations with Dude, but at some point in the night I started to worry that I was talking to him too much. I thought maybe he was getting the wrong impression. I was in NO WAY flirting and besides I had come with someone else. Honestly, this Dude did not care. My Friend would come to check on me and he might as well have been invisible.

At one point, we were sitting around a bonfire while the men recounted work stories. I was sitting on Friends lap and Dude was making sure my wine glass stayed full. It was a tad bit awkward. But it gets worse. As we were leaving (literally at the doorstep), saying our goodbye's to everyone, Dude whispers in my ear and asks for my number. I was dumbfounded/embarrassed and just quickly told it to him. I didn't want to make a scene. Really the balls of this Dude to pretty much ask me in front of everyone. In the car, I was honest with Friend about it. I had nothing to hide. Friend said he had caught that and found it odd.

The rest of the night, I put my chisel away. Friend's pedestal had taken enough of a beating. I was kinda smiling on the inside though... Dude actually sent me texts the next day asking me to watch the game with him. I never responded.

Last night, I answered the phone of an unfamiliar number. Guess who? Yup, Dude. Seriously?! He said that he hadn't forgotten about me (apparently, I leave quite an impression ;). He actually apologized for waiting so long to call (due to work and family obligations–yawn, "your baggage bores me") and said if I was ever in the area, he'd like to take me to lunch ("his treat"–I lost some of my dinner at that one). The whole conversation was crazy awkward, mainly because I just wanted to laugh the whole time. I tried to be nice, thank him for his call and again he said he'd like to "treat me to lunch". Seriously, DUDE I can afford my own lunch! ugh! Grown-Ass Men are just as foolish as the lil one's!

Your baggage bores me.

Boys with baggage are freakin' unattractive. It makes sense, the older we get, the more experience we amass and not all of it is positive. Yes, I have my own trust issues (identity theft is a b*tch), but this is something I can get over the more I get to know you. Dating in your 30's (holy shiz I can say that now) means most likely your taking on someone's loaded past and hangups. It means babies and babyMama's, crazy ex's who are still in the picture, exWives, exFiancés, walls, trust issues, marriage issues, tied-up finances, prior commitments. It means, "Well, my ex used to do it this way" or "I don't plan on getting married again".

I've never broken anything and I have minimal/barely visible scars. Aren't men supposed to be the tougher sex? I'm no nurse, I'm not here to band aid your wounds. Suck it up. Bounce back.

True friends send you lyrics to lift your spirits in the middle of the night.

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Because someday you're going to get hungry
And eat most of the words you just said

Both my parents taught me about goodwill
And I have done well by their names
Just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
Is more than I can explain
Still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
Just so I would think they were not home
And hid in the dark of their windows
Until I'd passed and left them alone

And God help you if you are an ugly girl
Course too pretty is also your doom
Because everyone harbors a secret hatred
For the prettiest girl in the room
And God help you if you are a phoenix
And you dare to rise up from the ash
A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
While you are just flying past

I'm not trying to give my life meaning
By demeaning you
And I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
No, I will never be a saint
But I will always say

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Because someday you might find you're starving
And eating all of the words you said

32 Flavors by Ani DiFranco

Inspiration for Spring

I dig every piece from the Spring collection of Malene Birger... SO LOVELY!

January 16th, 2010

Above are a couple pics from my Birthday/Cocktail party. Had a great time! Probably will never make bacon/goat cheese lollipops again... too much work, but yummy. Never found a pair of sequin shorts that worked... they were either too hoochie or too long (haven't given up hope though).

Last year/this week (in between many tears), I broke up with my boyfriend (that's not what the tears were for) and started to restructure/organize and plan. This year, no major breakdowns or breakups, I do have some tidying up to do... maybe some subscriptions to cancel.

My soundtracks

I associate music (songs, sometimes whole albums) to people in my life. It could be the obvious... We went to a concert together, You liked to sing it obnoxiously, We shared some sort of significant "moment", etc. OR it could be something we've never heard together but a song or album I used to play when We were in the thick of it.

Music plays a huge role in our days at work. It sets the mood, sets the pace and keeps us from going nutty. I work in close quarters with Mouth and May and thankfully for the most part we are on the same musical wave length. Except, sometimes Mouth tries to slip in some 80's hair metal or music with a twang and I quickly veto it with my remote or the death stare.

Now, if I am in the thick of it and brooding–I need to listen to very specific artists. Usually my 1st go-to is Diana Ross, followed by her Supreme years and then some more modern chics. More important, are the albums/artists that are forbidden during these periods and since Mouth and May have come to know me so well, they know exactly which albums to detour.

I am very fortunate to work with coworkers that entertain these moods (although every now and then, I suspect Mouth of purposely letting the music end-up there to laugh at how irritated I get). What's even worse is that I might have tortured them 2 months prior by making them put the album on repeat. I make them grow as fond of an album as I am and then I forbid it to be played. Evil, I know. So serious am I that they wait till I leave for lunch to listen to these forbidden artists. Occasionally, I'll come back early and catch them in the act and the record will scratch ;)

Artists do come back into rotation after I've made my peace with the issue or the person. Take yesterday for example: (After trying to give Mouth the death stare AKA the signal to change the music)
   Mouth: I thought you were over Him.
   Me: I don't know... maybe next week...
         –Geez, give me a break. WE listened to the Shins yesterday!
   Mouth: I thought you were over Him.
   Me: I am. That's why I didn't give a shit.

On a side note: I've learned if our/your song ever has a negative connotation, e.g. "With or Without You", I/you should probably be without.

Tack it on.

I'm sure I'm destined for years of bad dating karma, but oh well... The full Plenty of Fish Piranha review is yet to come, but for now I'll give you a sample of the average fish: (9 times out of 10) He is topless, covered in some sort of oil, abbreviates the hell out of everything (lol=Eew), and is way into UFC.

Case in point:
12:14pm 1/19
how r u?my name is chebon im def down to earth laid back guy if u like to chat hit me up thx
12:29pm 1/19
how r u i def like to chat if u like 

His ideal First Date:
i dont like the movie cause we cant talk so i like the idea of a nice dinner at some plce nice and different and then a nice walk by the water or i like dinner and a comedy club and then nice walk.i even like a bookstore and a starbucks and a nice walk lol
So I guess we're walking...

Anthropologie lusting

Though not typically my style, occasionally I'll see some Anthropologie pieces I'd really like in my closet...

I generally like their housewares, especially these awesome papier mache animal busts-which I'm seriously considering recreating... I dig the zebra and rhino (a bull or goat would be nice ;) Heads seen via The Bubb Report.

Dude talk

Yesterday I spent the day with the boys (my neighbor and his friends). I had the aftermath of my bday party to clean-up, but I chose to watch football instead. I barely watched the game because A: I could care less and B: their back and forth BSing was far more entertaining.

Topics of conversation: duck vs. goose, Rotel, Velveeta, gold vs. platinum, ring settings, wedding registry, divorce, tutoring, underage hot chics, Georgetown vs. UofMd, Romo, facebook profiles, facebook privacy, girlfriends/fiances, pictures of ex's on facebook, family on facebook, girlfriends thinking your gay, local bartenders, vomiting, plastic-lined beds, drunken dancing, underage hot chics (again), Jager, a-hole comments, sobriety, Baptists, cleaning house, girlfriends/fiances cleaning, sex/blow jobs, fake jugs, cat piss, proposing, xbox, working from home, birthdays, turning 30, Favre, beans, pot brownies... Almost in that order.

Love is a Battlefield

These axes are beautifully-made aggressive pieces of art. I want one! Or two, so that I can hang them in an "X" on my wall to thwart off any intruders or "friends" with ill intentions. Because maybe it's just me... but you probably shouldn't mess with a chic with two one-of-a-kind axes on her wall. Take note of the ones with engravings, there are two more available, "Compassion" & "Fortitude". Available here, seen via Oh Joy.

Cocktail party for me!

Saturday is my birthday and this birthday girl is throwing herself a cocktail party. Nothing major, cuz I can only fit but so many peeps in my lil 1 bedroom–but enough for a proper welcoming to 31. In an ideal life, I'd be able to truly pull-off the party I envision with my inspirations from below... but I have an oh-so-hot Sinus Infection (ugh!) slowing me down.
I love diy decorations, except these colors are a lil too Martha for me. I will finally be making these bacon/goat cheese lollipops which I've been dying to try, lots of yummy sangria, finger foods and possibly gourmet jello shots... we shall see.

So, I actually have the shorts in the top right hand corner (they were a gift from a favorite of mine). Now, check out the models ass! This model has got a lil more booty than the average–But, I just plain-old have more booty than the average. So, unfortunately these are a no-go, but I think I can pull-off a more tailored pair. Again... we shall see.

I forgot to throw in the TV with the Ravens game on... an irritating factor, I hadn't factored.

Letting reality be reality.

Black and white is hands down my favorite color combination–it's classic, crispy and dramatic. Come visit my apartment, open my closet doors–you'll see. But when it comes to my personal life I invent a million shades of gray. I concoct elaborate story lines for why the characters in my life aren't there. This goes for family, friends and lovers alike.

Let's see: Family... maybe she was brainwashed by some Santeria-like cult and must swear-off any prior ties. Friends... maybe she's dating someone new, someone running for office who would be offended by how many times I use "fucker" in a sentence. Lover... maybe he has a "Love Child" and has sworn to be a better father than he had, so their eloping-even though he really wants to be with me. Who knows, but chances are that the reality is not that complex. I'm just not that important (to them). That's the black of it.

I need to save that imagination, channel that creativity into something or someone worthwhile (me). Paint, sew, and bake with all those shades. Keep it in or give it to those who have always been there and who always will be. I'm gonna bake me a cake today... better yet, a flan for you!

It's all about me.

The following are calendar sheets filled out by Mouth, May (my co-workers) & myself. The calendar is a gift from my mother, where you fill out self-involved ideas for the day. I thought it would be nice to compare and contrast... It's a lil too much to fill out every day, so maybe I'll post some every now and then. Apparently I was caught on a good day :)



what goes up, must come down

I saw a musical last night with no climax–an oxymoron, if you will. Which got me thinkin' on my lack of climax... and I ain't speakin' in metaphors. I am one of those tragically challenged females that can't climax without emotional connection (boo)-so really, what's the point. Also, and I was warned this would happen (by my sex-deprived early 20's ex-sorry!) I can't stop thinking about sex. But horny with morals and need for emotional connection do not mix. So I am freakin' frustrated and trying to feverously type it out.

When your single and restless or newly lonesome, people give you the advice to try something new-put yourself "out there". Well to that I say, "suck it". I got hobbies and talents up the ying and I thrive on unfamiliar territory. I think I'm so well-rounded (OR delusional) that I'll never find anyone with anything to offer. Which leads me back to sex. If you're not above and beyond-I yawn. If I yawn-I sure ain't emotionally connecting. If I ain't emotionally connecting-I ain't climaxing. And, if I ain't climaxing-what's the point.

This will be the year of...

HONSAUCE, of St. Germain, THE HEARTY PROJECT, Zumba and BODY PUMP, Flash and FLASHINESS, Patience, 7AM WAKEUPS, 11pm Winddowns, TRUFFLE OIL, Spontaneity, GLOBE HOPPING, Page Turners, HELLO'S and Bridges, PATIENCE, Deep Breaths, LA SALSERA, my Backhand, HOPE and Faith, CHECKINS and Checkups, FLOSSIN', Honesty, CHEERSING, Embracing, NEW VOCAB, More Color, PATIENCE and above all else... Love.

Startin' the New Year off right.

After some late night house hopping, I start the 1st day of 2010 at the Royal Farms in Highlandtown for some much needed coffee. Apparently everyone else had the same idea because there was a super long line of caffeine holding patrons. My friend Emmaline and I were still dressed in our NYE finest, which for me meant sequins. The obviously/local lady in her late 30's/early 40's behind us comments on how nice we look and asks where did we go last night. After explaining that we went to some house parties, she begins to recall her wild drinkin' days. She's rambling about bars and parties, not being in her right mind and not being able to find her car, etc. She then comments on Emmaline's "European look" and asks if she's ever been there. Emmaline replies that she's been to a couple of countries... Then follows a conversation about Rome, Paris, Amsterdam, Jamaica & Ireland, but especially Paris. Terry (I think her name was) was very adament with her distaste for the Parisians. This sparked the woman in front to join in the conversation because she too felt strongly about how rude they were. This discussion about "our wild ways" and the world lasted for at least 10 minutes, till we finally got to the register. I bought Terry her coffee and she gave us big hugs and wished us Happy New Year. She was so genuinely happy to have met us. It was a moment for us all.

After I showered and de-sequined, I met my friend Celena at Woodberry Kitchen for their NYDay Brunch. This brunch was purposely planned as the kick-off to our new blog about Bmore restaurants (Honsauce-details to follow)... Though NYmorning–maybe not the best time as far as alertness goes. But boy, did I have the most delicious 1st meal of 2010! Steak and Eggs (all organic) w/ onion rings, skillet potatoes and béarnaise sauce... Yumm!