Online Dating vs. The Job Hunt

"I get so tired of working so hard for our my survival" - Peter Gabriel
I've re-written the same paragraph about 50 times in the last 3 month. Just a couple lines that keep driving me nuts... the meat of my cover letter–where I'm supposed to pull you in and shine. At times, depending on the position I'm applying for, I either sound over or under qualified. So I try to "dumb it down" a bit or highlight other talents that would be seen as a bonus. The whole process of submitting resumes, interviewing and marketing my assets is very similar to online dating. I would go as far as saying all my online dating experience has helped prepare me for this process.

A couple similarities between online dating and applying for jobs:
  • Online profiles are just more casual/witty resumes (or cover letters). Sure when applying for jobs you should be fairly direct, but since I'm in the design field it's appropriate and expected to insert some of my "character" into my marketing materials. Writing my fair amount of profiles has helped me analyze and highlight my strong assests.
  • In both instances, I create lil online glimpses of me (my stellar work, my exceptional experience, my fun friends, my cultured and inquisitive self, blah/blah, etc.).
  • I look for keywords in both opportunities that would lead me to believe that they are not worth my time (Printing companies that state they "are willing to train" = they want you to do manual labor or they are trying to be cheap and combine 2 positions in 1 (sales/design) ummmm, no. Dudes that state, "I'm a student of the world" = broke bums that live in mom's basement).
  • There is a fair amount of deception and let-down involved in the interview process and the 1st meet-up. What comes to mind the most... he's most-likely shorter, heavier, balder or has worse teeth than I expected. In interviews I often find out that they are paying yellow cheddar cheese kinda cash or their work is crap and I'm embarrassed for them when I have to bring out my portfolio. All this leads to a very irritated me. I'm irritated in both cases that I had to waste prep time, drive time and my witty "pitch" for NOTHING.
  • The Pitch. I hate to call it this in dating, but I think it's accurate. I've been on so many interviews and so many 1st and never dates, the things that come out of my mouth are so damn automatic. Sometimes I actually scare myself with the shizz I say... because after so many 1st time meetings I become more bold (is it more bold or bolder?). Hey, what do I have to lose? I would go as far as saying that I entertain people on both ends of the spectrum that I have no intention of every speaking to again, just to perfect my pitch.
  • The Follow-up. Not receiving one, even when you could care less about the job or date can make you second guess your greatness. Like... Damn, I thought I was pretty charismatic... I thought they were wow'd with my work. Were they not impressed? Maybe they were intimidated. Maybe they knew they couldn't provide me the challenge I needed. Yeah, that's it... because clearly, I am freakin' rad... duhhh.

Banking on it...

Weekend in Texts (11.19.10-11.21.10)

Text Messages INCOMING
-Burp. New yeezy album is good
-Nope, can't say it makes me want to shake it a bit
-That would be a little gay. But the music is good.
-Hi face sucker!
-So do you want to just head up to my house at 5 or so?
-Hey! What ya feel like doing later? I could grab a bottle and head over... maybe go out late for a little bit...or we can head to Annapolis, but the idea of driving is sounding worse and worse.
-Never been there, but what my Annapolis friends tell me it's very ghetto. Not near downtown either, so it's not like we could just walk to a diff place.
-Sounds good. I'll be over 9-9:15?
-Yup, see you later!
-Hey sis! Are you going to be home tonight? Alexis and I will be in your neck of the woods. Love to see ya if possible.
-Whatcha doing?
-Were@ blue I'm pregnant
-Glad u care!
-Walking to the get down
-Stacie has a table so say your'e with Stacie Ta....... and there is no cover.
-Do u think you're coming
-Hi usury
-Hey r u having fun without me?
-Am I killing u?
-I'll grab your car and be over shortly.
-Yes. I guess I gave you your house key and kept the rest. Who knows.
-I know. I was locked out last night for an hour or so. Didn't realize I lef mine at yr house.
Text Messages OUTGOING
-Most def, makes ya want to shake it a bit, no?
-Hmmmmmm :/
-Sounding gay is nothing new for you ;)
-Smooches Smoochface!
-Sure, that should be fine.
-Yeah, I'm leaning towards Bmore... Where and what is Wild Willies?
-Screw that, lets stay in the city. I'll make chicken quesadillas and we can go out later for a bit.
-Sure, can you bring my iPod chica?
-Nice :)
-I heard... Would love to see ya too! Going to try and meet up with you guys a The Get Down.
-Heidis coming over at 9. Making quesadillas and then going out for a drink. Want to join?
-Ok :)
-I just woke up...
-Ok, you have my keys?
-Oh effing geez

a Hearty Happy Hour

It's Friday, have a cocktail!
The following is a cocktail I had at Vino Rosina a while back...
Enjoy it there or be adventurous and recreate at home.

I'm there like foursquare.

My alter ego 'tude for Tuesday

Confidence in the kitchen and out.

Over at the kitchn, Dana meditates on Confidence...
 "Confidence is a funny thing. A hairsbreadth too much and it tumbles into arrogance and posturing. A touch too little and it's impossible to reach for the magic. In the kitchen, as with most of life, confidence is a very helpful, and also potentially dangerous, ingredient. When we're confident, we trust in our abilities and decisions. We don't hesitate, we act and, often, we act boldly. This can lead to some very delicious and interesting results. A dash of brandy in the soup, a nail-biting extra 10 seconds to sear the tuna, the pairing of sweet melon, chili and fish sauce for an impromptu appetizer are a few acts of culinary confidence I've been lucky to observe lately. It can be very energizing and inspiring and even beautiful to watch a confident cook at work.

I've also seen confidence ruin an entire meal. As mentioned, it just takes a little too much and suddenly we're choking on the cook's ego rather than being nourished by their generosity. The difference between the aforementioned boldness and this bravado is a subtle and difficult line to navigate (see photo above.) It takes a fair amount of mettle to be a brilliant cook (or anything for that matter) but it also takes a few drops of humility, too." More here.

This crapass economy is chipping away at my arrogance. I need to remind myself that I am the shit and take pointers from  Mr. Badass himself, my honey Anthony Bourdain.
As I sit in the carwash jotting down some numbers at the wheel, I feel a sudden cold splash of water down my back... I had left the back windows down! Good thing I had a change of clothes in the car and... Shamwow to the rescue!

My non-committal vocab

Possibly / Maybe / Probably / Wee Bit / Sorda / Kinda / "ish" / Pretty Much / Almost / Round There / About / Round Then / Approximately / Most Likely / Sometime / Someday / Perhaps / Later / Flexible / Casual / Open-ended / Open-minded / For Now...

Please let this be a trend.

If this (hair) is the case... I can just get up, brush my teeth and go.
All I need is this vibrant violet lipstick and last night's eye makeup to complete my moody look.
photo via Vanessa Jackman

My alter ego 'Kate' for Tuesday

Weekend in Texts (11.5.10-11.7.10)

Text Messages INCOMING
-Headed to Bmore tonight... Pazo for dinner at 8, then Angel's Rock Bar(?). You?
-12 dudes! Leaving Pazo soon. Not sure how long we'll be at this Angel place. Does it suck?
-This place is awful.
-Yup, gettin drunk!
-Yeah... after all, your bed IS the VIP spot of the city! (will that make your blog?)
-Not a thing...been out late every night this week. Can't wait to get in bed!
-Ahhhh! There's a gorilla walking around boston
-We were just walking around the city for a while. Now watching the Penn state game
-Yea? Lots of arts and crafts
-On my way home girl. Wanna swing thru?
-Why aren't you here?
-Hey!! I apologize for the weird invite. I'm weird what can I say.
-I'm at home. :/
-Really? :) with your family?
-I think I broke my toe last night. :(
-Then my effin car over heated on the bw pkwy on the way home. Horrible.
-Oh lord, I drank WAY to much last night, I'm still on the sofa.
-Do I know them? What time?
-Ohhhhok. Let me know when ur headed over
-It's soooo cold here
-Actually I miss you cause I think youre amazing and I love spending time with you!
-Good seeing you, its always a pleasure

Text Messages OUTGOING
-Angel Rock? Hmm... Not really my scene. Who you with? Staying there all night?
-You guys might have fun, I find the place obnoxious. I'll be getting back into the city round midnight... I'm up for meeting for a drink or two. I'll send you a message.
-Yup, it's whack.
-You staying there?
-Nice have fun! I'm going to bed :)
-Ha, maybe.
-What you up to tonight?
-That's random... What you up to today?
-Takin it easy, late night.
-That then hanging with a friend in town from DC.
-Hey lady, what's happenin'?
-Sure, like 8 good for you?
-Nice freakin invite!
-Where ru weirdo?
-Going to church with the fam, then we are setting up a taco bar for lunch. You are more than welcome to join
-:/ what kind of dance moves were you trying to pull?
-Where you at lady?
-Ok, chica. Ttyl
-Thinking of heading to canton... want to come? Meeting Jamie maybe Nikki
-Yes, we went to a party in canton once, Jamie used to date Bummy and Nikki used to organize Brew at the Zoo.
-That's why you miss me?
-Those are good reasons. I REALLY miss ur lips and ur company.
-Likewise sweetheart.


Dudes over-analyze messages just like we do!!!
So when I used to work with Mouth and May, we would kill time by analyzing my current relationship dramas to death, particularly text and email messages since it seemed like most of them liked to irritate me between the hours of 9-5. There was alot of, "So what should I say next?"('s) and sometimes the response would be, "Ok, that works," but would take 10 minutes of deliberation to send. Yes, silly I know, but when dealing with the "player" types every move has to be deliberate. Most times we would crack ourselves up... knowing that they were not on the other end of this putting so much thought into a response. Or were they???

Well, I'm currently contracting at another agency and have developed a somewhat similar relationship with one of my office mates... although he is a dude (let's call him Woody). Our office conversations have circled around my current dating situations, his fiancé (wedding plans), hip hop (which is why I'm finding myself cursing more lately), wildly inappropriate Jew and Hispanic comments, food and trashy reality TV. I think he enjoys vicariously living through my missteps, even encouraging staying in the single life. Recently, he's developed some of his own relationship drama with the misses, so the tables have turned a bit and I've been giving him advice.

Yesterday, he needed some texting advice and I was all over it! I totally loved playing the part of the adviser rather than the advisee. I mean we got down to the "Hey" or the "Hi" of the matter. He was planning to take her out. I said whatever you say to her, don't say "Date Night". Date Night is for slackers that don't usually treat their lady to nice dinners or nights out. So dudes use the words Date Night and we are supposed to get all giddy with anticipation? Bullshit. Anyways, I digress... He was trying to select the appropriate words and I adviced him to be as direct (and short-maybe a lil mysterious) as possible. Not, "Are you available?" but, "Be ready and look pretty." She kept pushing him for the what and the where of the situation... like, "Well, what should I wear? Dress? Jeans? Heels?" This I understand... a girl has to plan her outfit, but I asked him, "What do you like to see her in?" He said dress, so I said tell her you're leaning towards dress. This went back and forth several times. Woody was all like, "This is fun, I feel like I'm dating again (even making the reeling in fish motion)," and I say, "Now you know what my life is like... full of carefully selected words."

NOW, I really want to be a relationship advice columnist (says the single girl)! So much easier to dish it than to take it and fun to see others squirm over silly messages.

Totally Stoinked!

That plastic thing in our hands in a stoinker. Lil Miss Taco Tuesday and I are stoinking our very own batch of Syrah. We joined her aunt's wine club last Sunday to begin the process of becoming amateur winemakers. It was a beautiful fall day (Halloween!) in Clarksville and our freshly-shipped Napa grapes were ripe for crushin'.

99 Problems But a Dude Ain't One.

Do you think she's pushing him in or trying to pull him out???
I'd like to think push... she appears to be having too much fun.

Jessica Szohr

Why I love this picture: sequins and denim–yes, sequins in the daytime–yes, gold and silver combo–yes, masculine plus feminine–yes, hot brunette in NYC–yes.
photo via Garance Doré