If you're a vegan (maybe even vegetarian... Still undecided).
If you don’t eat vegetables.
If you do eat vegetables, but only eat broccoli heads.
If you’re a picky eater.
If you eat less than I do.

If you don’t drink.
If you do drink, but can’t finish a bottle of wine with me.
If you turn into a major @sshole when you drink.
If you drink anything green/blue/pink or purple.

If you have no spiritual beliefs.
If you try and push your beliefs on me.

If you have no political stance.
If you don’t vote.
If you try to push your politics on me.

If all your radio stations are set to Country.
If you can’t get down with Ray or Otis.
If you refuse to dance with me.
If you refuse to learn Salsa.
If you won’t jump up and down and act a fool at a concert, or look at me funny when I do.

If you don’t like hanging out with family.
If you’re a Mama’s boy.
If you have multiple baby Mama’s (one is pushing it).

If you don’t want a family.

If the only thing you read is Playboy.
If the only thing you watch is mainstream slapstick humor.
If you can’t get down with Goodfellas or Magnolia.
If you have no interest in the arts or culture.
If you lack imagination.

If you need a calculator to figure out the tip on a 2person check.
If you live beyond your means.
If you live with your parents.
If you don’t live for today.

If you won’t fly/travel.
If you’re not a fan of the beach or the city.
If you're a homebody.

If you won’t play boardgames.
If you don’t like getting physical.
If getting physical with you is a bore.
If you don’t know when and how to insert a wall anchor.

If your grammar sucks or you speak solely in slang.
If you are so concerned with offending that you “lol” the hell out of every message.
If you use “HeHe” instead of “HaHa”.

If you don’t want a dog.
If you want or have a cat.

If you don’t offer to take care of me when I am sick.

The obvious: rude • timid • boastful • fake • selfish • indecisiveness • aloof • whiner • unintelligent • lazy • depressed • addicted • a dick, etc.


godbacchus said...

I may have to steal your list chica. - ODB

The Hearty Project said...

Feel free to take what you need and add.
I'm seriously considering making custom calling cards that have "our" top 3 Dealbreakers. Something like "if any of these apply to you, don't bother dialing (or texting) my number.