Beyond Vday...

I received a request to clarify as I was thinkin’ "I need to clarify..."
I love roses (def not my fave), I love chocolates (dark with nuts), I love steak (medium rare), I just think the combo on Vday is thoughtless. But that’s just me. I’m sure most chics would be totally happy, if not thrilled. This chic requires a lil more originality.

So my friend (let’s call him GI Dreamy) says,
Guys are simple creatures. All it takes is for one girl we date to want to go to a fancy steakhouse and get flowers at the office, and we apply that to all we meet.” This could work on a Vday date with a newish lady friend, but shouldn’t with someone you actually care about. On Vday (or any other date) in a committed relationship, you should: take note of the little things that get your chic excited (which for simple creatures, might be hard to remember). Hmm... Maybe this goes back to the 5 Love Languages. Does she want to be told, touched, feel you love her in your undivided attention OR does she want a token of affection OR does she want you to finally put that bookcase together OR shovel her damn driveway (these days, I might choose the later)... Figure this out and save yourself time and money. Personally, I know one of the ways to my heart is through food, but I’m a bit of a snob and if you suggest Ruth’s Chris-I cringe (or any other chain restaurant). Cook for me-ONLY if you’re a good cook or take me to my favorite hole in the wall, make me breakfast (not in bed-that’s gross)–can’t really mess up eggs too much. Side note: Unless your a chef at a reputable establishment, never offer to cook on a 1st date–cheapskate or perv (u pick?)

On Flowers... Flowers never go out of style. Every chic loves them. What’s not to love–they’re pretty and smell good. On another note: It’s a nice way to make a girl keep thinking about you... At least for a week. Dates in the past that showed up with flowers stood out. Me? I like bouquets a lil wild and messy like me, actually I prefer anything but red roses. Is your chic more traditional or more eccentric? Cater your flowers accordingly.

On Spots... GI Dreamy says,
I'm willing to bet you that most guys you know have a "go to" first date plan that they use in some capacity with all first dates.” This is fine, as long as you don’t let them onto this. I have my own “go-to’s”. Which recently it’s dawned on me–I might have to mix up a bit. When the waiter says, “Oh, I know. I’ve waited on her before” or the bartender says, “New guy? Is he going to be a keeper?” Mix it up. But this only applies to Newbie’s, if I really care, I’ll apply way more thought and research.

On Wearing the Pants... GI Dreamy says, “First dates are tough, so mostly I just go with what I know I will like, which makes me comfortable...which in turn makes for a more fun experience. Of course with my luck, I will then run into the girl who thinks it is archaic for the man to pick the spots and outline the dates, which in turn means I am a prick. So then the next time I leave it up to the girl, which of course means she thinks I am wishy-washy and can't take charge.” I know many types of girls and I usually fall in the more aggressive/independent end of the spectrum–but even Ms. Independence wants you to choose the restaurant and take charge (I guarantee). But I’m attracted to Manly Men and Manly Men Make Decisions. An immediate turn-off is the back/forth-wishy/washy, “I don’t know, whatever you’d like...” Ugh! ESPECIALLY, on a 1st date! Yes, ask what kinds of cuisine’s she’s into, don’t be a brute. Assess the type of girl and make a reservation. Exceptions would be: if you are coming to my city (I’ll pick), if I’m coming to your city (no-brainer).

ALL THIS goes the other way, making your mate feel special (ANY DAY) is a 2way street, good thing I have killer attention for detail (usually lost on simple creatures).

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