Dating minus the muck

I recently went on a date with a scientist. The only reason I mention that he was a scientist is because we had multiple discussions that were not typical for my dates (not that all my dates are idiots either). Actually, it was a breath of fresh air from the typical guarded/trivial BS that usually takes place. Not only did we discuss possible scientific reasons for “why we are the way we are,” but every other off-limit topic for a 1st date (I do have to mention that alcohol had a hand in this).

Typical off-limit topics for a 1st Date: Ex’s, Politics, Religion, Children, Fears, Desires, Skepticism, Death, Depression, Sex, Feeling Wronged, Regret, Stereotypes, Drugs, etc.

Usually on a 1st date, I will try to stay clear of above topics. Though, in general I try to be as honest about my character as possible because I’m not for everyone and if you can’t handle me now–you certainly won’t be able to handle me later... Why waste either of our time. There are cases where I know the date will be our 1st and last and I will purposely bring up topics from above to hear something juicy or maybe something I can learn from.

This date apparently felt like being very honest, which put me at ease to open up. I believe at one point (bottle of wine/several martini’s later), I said that I wanted babies, which in all honestly should not be such a surprise–but one of those off-limits. So he says, “You’d make a good mother.” And before I can shoo that away as being a BS comment (because how well does he know me), he says that this is the clearest he will ever see me, that at 1st meeting someone you are able to look at them objectively, after getting closer/more involved you start to project your needs and desires onto them, which usually just mucks everything up...
So true.

1st dates are exciting for this reason. You're not emotionally invested, you can look at this possible love interest with fresh eyes. They can mention ex’s and failures and you won’t take offense or have your ego bruised. It’s actually a bit depressing... This mucking up business.

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