Friday Dedication

To that chic who shook my hand Monday night with the strength and stamina of Shorty #4, actually scratch that... Shorty #4 would've given me more resistance. Thanks for wasting 2 seconds of my life. To make matters worse, you pretended not to know me. I assume this dead fish handshake and stranger act was spurred by the fact that I came with your "ex-hookup" who just happens to be my neighbor. Well then, I will pretend to flirt and be fond of him for the next 20 minutes just to piss you off.

I find it completely revolting and an insult to receive a weak handshake from either chics or dudes. Visions of taking that weak wrist and using your own hand to smack you in the face come to mind...