Add Dating Advisor to my resume.

This weekend I told Lil Miss Hot Potato that she should let me manage her dating life–in light of her recent bad decisions AND because I'm doing such a stellar job at mine! That was meant to be semi-sarcastic... I'm not so lucky in love, but at least I'm not a sucker. I think it will be a win/win for both of us. By me giving such logical dating advice, I will have no choice but to walk the walk. In all honestly, for the most part, I do.

LMHP said she'd like to start online dating as well. I obviously have some experience in the matter and am a great source (I wish I had me when I was going through the process). Although, it didn't necessarily work for me–it has worked for many others and frankly, it's entertaining. Plus, she's not looking for long term commitment. She needs to go through a period of (re)self-discovery and just wants some fun guys to hang out with that haven't already screwed her friends (I can relate).

Last night we began setting up her profile. Can't lie... we were both giddy with excitement. It was fun thinking of different ways to market her online. Pretty much like my day job but with more "sex". I began to jot down some key "buzz words". Not total deception, just smart advertising.

The following is a bit of our banter:
Beginning to type her "interests"... (me) So what should we put down for your interests? (LMHP) I don't know what my interests are... (me) Well, let's look at my old profile so you can get an idea. (LMHP-after looking at mine) Can't I just copy those?

"Interests" section... (me) You want to attract men that are physically fit, so you want to put down outdoor/physical activities (LMHP) Put down yoga, I plan on starting next week. (me) How about hiking? (LMHP-as she's typing) Oh god, this is killing me.

Trying to think of what to write in the "about me" section... (me) If you were an animal, what would you be? (LMHP) a lion. (me) Well, I was half joking, but it might be funny... so I wrote, "If I were an animal, I'd be a lion (roar)." A lil bit of cheese never hurt nobody.

(LMHP) So what do you do if they're boring? (me) Drink.

(LMHP) So how do I know they're not going to kill me? (me) You don't. You just always meet in a very public place. You'll be fine.

(me) Ok, you gotta watch out for the "new to the area's". You don't want to be a tour guide. (LMHP) No, that's fine. I gotta build the roster.

(LMHP) Stop taking notes!!!

On answering her 1st prospect... (LMHP) Let's answer Gladiator dude... What you going to write? (me) Hold on, I'm not writing. He's not dating me, he's dating you. I will assist...

Sad to say, we came across some dudes that I had already talked to. Good for her that I could steer her clear of them. She was so excited by the initial process, I had to smile. It can be fun at first, but that excitement wears off when you realize how time-consuming sifting through idiots can be.