The last who(rah)!

So I scheduled my last online dating meet-up for this past Sunday night–the tail end of a jam/packed weekend. I had been communicating with this dude for a bit and after telling him I was through with POF, I gave him my personal contact info. Although I was completely exhausted, I kept my promise to meet for a drink or 2–even after I got wind of some sort of accent. Part of me thought, Wouldn't it be poetic to connect with my last attempt at this thing (that's Disney talkin'). I asked him to meet me at a newish spot in Federal Hill so that I wouldn't have any run-ins with locals. We actually ran into each other while parking, kinda awkward. More awkward when I realized I wouldn't be able to stand much of the accent and he was way nerdier than I like'm. Then I thought to myself, Could it end any other way?...nope. We walk up to the spot and it's closed. I try to think fast but he suggests a bar that we passed. Of course it's a pretty popular spot where I'm sure to run into familiar faces... I reluctantly agree.

He was not a totally bad looking dude, just needed some work/styling. If I had patience and there were more hours in a day–I might've helped him, but the freakin' accent was killer. He was from Cleveland, Ohio which translates into annoying. His "happy's" were more like "haaaaaaapy" (drop the tongue). I spent the majority of time jotting down a list of alterations in my head... ditch the nerdy glasses for contacts, grow out his hair, ditch the linen shirt!, speech therapy. The whole scene screamed awkward, which naturally was a perfect opportunity for me to run into several people I knew. Two drinks and a slew of yawns later–I call it quits.

So there it is folks. A very un-momentous ending to my adventures in online dating. It all ends with a handshake, yup a handshake. Perhaps I'll revisit the process later on in life, but for now I'm done. Back to meeting men the old fashioned way... drunk at a bar. I've met some quality people at bars btw. And, I've honestly met some interesting people online as well, like: –the inflated dude that sold energy drinks and wore club clothes to a Raven's game –the English dude that had a raunchy sense of humor and crooked teeth –the law student dude that didn't get my humor and had piss poor taste in music –the government dude whose ego could rival a nominated Kanye West at an awards show –the dude with a sick body and even more sickening Southern drawl –the divorcé double agent dude who was guilty of premature babe(ing) –the tormented writer dude who boasted about his illegal activities –the scientist dude studying ear cells and whose mandatory cheers of choice was "la heim" –the firefighter dude that I got snowed in with and had me silently chanting "redrum"

Yes this past year (+3 months) has been busy... I didn't date all these dude's either (so stop your judgement). Lots of Hello/Goodbye's and new friends in all sorts of places. Lil Miss Taco Tuesday likes to joke that my theme song is "Another one bites the dust". I will say that I have never been more clear on what will and will not work for me. I'm open to the possibility that my match might not come in Johnny packaging, but I demand that his heart and intentions match that kind of pretty. Tonight perhaps I'll poor some wine on the stoop for prospect's of dating past... Sounds nice in theory, but that would be a waste.