Quotes from the Weekend 5.14-5.16

Dude@bar: What's your ethnicity?
Me: Take a guess.
Dude@bar: You remind me of one of them Kardashians. See you have a lot of different features... Native, ethnic, Dominican, Italian...

(Helping Lil Miss Mimosa with her son's 1st bday party)
LM Mimosa: I don't like that kid. Give him the yellow ball.

LM Mimosa: Do you hate me?
Me: No, but you're lucky I love you.
The following is a result of the wandering minds of several chics daydrinking

(Girlfriend talking about her boyfriend's balls)
GF: I know that they're there. I'm pretty sure that there are two of them.

Cousin: He came out 8 lbs. 5 ounces.
Me: Wow, he was big.
LM Taco Tuesday: You call that big, I was 11 lbs. I ounce.
Me: Damn, that's huge!
(Cousin is passing around pic of baby on phone, while we're oohing and ahhing. Another GF walks up/catching the end of the convo, looks at the pic...)
GF: Oh, I thought you were talking about cocks.

GF: It's true they do sag, they're like tits.

LM Taco Tuesday: I was nice, but I did walk up and fart on him.

LM Taco Tuesday's roomie: It takes 5 or 7 times for people to remember me.

GF: He didn't even have 5 balls. If he did I'd put one in every crevice.

Friend: That wasn't me... wrong gay person.

GF: Yeah, I don't know how LM Mimosa does it...
Me: I know, but LM Mimosa is a rare breed, not sure where she finds the energy. I mean, I exhaust myself with myself.

No comments: