Cocktail Profiling

See, I'm not the only one that makes judgements on drinks... I came across this article recently that addresses "What Men Really Think About Your Cocktail Order". In it, author Jordan Kaye of How to Booze: Exquisite Cocktails and Unsound Advice says, "Yep, different drinks send different messages."

Not sure I agree with these generalizations, but here goes:
The drink that says, "No way in hell am I coming up to your place later"
Jordan explains: "This drink is all about caution. It's the very drink we recommend ordering on first dates, in fact, because it communicates a kind of restraint and seriousness that will serve you well when you're interested in taking things slowly."

The drink that says, "I want to hear about how much money you make"
"By asking for the distinctive, delicious, top-shelf reposado-style tequila, you'll set yourself apart," Jordan notes. "A high-end margarita like this demonstrates that you know how to have a good time — and no one is going to teach you any lessons about how to do that — but you aren't going to be fooled into making any compromises, either."

The drink that says, "You can treat me like one of the guys (except much better)"
This is basically a fancy beer drink — it's a half-pint of pale ale topped off with a half-pint of porter or stout. So it shows that you're laid-back enough to drink a brewski, cool enough to order a drink with serious pub cred, and demanding enough to ask for something special.

The drink that says, "Marriage...babies..."
"Herbs and citrus make men think fertility," says Jordan. "It's a drink that suggests you are full of life and ready to make more of it. Procreation obsession is probably not a message that most guys want to hear too directly, though." So, when you send the message subliminally, by way of your drink order, they can handle it.

The drink that says, "I'm up for anything! Sweep me off my feet!"
Jordan says: "If you happen to be on a date with a genuinely good guy, ask for a classic champagne cocktail. This will tell your date that you are bubbling with enthusiasm for what's coming next — whatever that may be." Jordan notes that ordering your bubbly cocktail-style is more interesting and festive than asking for it straight up. I'd add that the extra flair suggests a bit of Gatsby-era glamour.

The one I think is most accurate... maybe the Black and Tan. My drink is more like the Vodka Gimlet and on occasion the Mojito, so according to Kaye's definition, I teeter between being a prude and wanting to procreate. Hmm.... But really? "Herbs and citrus make men think fertility," sounds like a bunch of shit to me. In my opinion, a high-end margarita screams fun (possibly alcoholic) chic that's carefree. A Champagne Cocktail screams high maintenance broad, unless it's brunch. My cocktail of choice: Stoli and soda water. I've heard it called a skinny b*tch. What does it say about me? I'm calorie conscience, refuse to drink rail, but don't necessarily need Belvedere. You be the judge.

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